The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/30/09
Very thought-provoking. Nicely written.
07/30/09
I forgot to mention to watch where you put the second quote marks - they always go after punctuation.
07/31/09
The inconcistent rhyme and meter throws this poem off a bit for the reader. However, I did enjoy the message it brings.
08/04/09
thank you for this poem. There are lots of good parts to it and some lovely lines. I do think that the variation of the rhyming and the different lengths of lines means it doesnt flow too smoothly.The first lines where you have begun a rhyming scheme are a little forced and I think maybe to make it more spontaneous having it as free verse right through.
Keep going poems often need moving around and shaping a bit.
08/04/09
I forgot to say I love the title!!!