The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/01/08
I like how you developed the characters and setting by blending it into the story. Thank you for writing this.
12/02/08
You painted a good picture of the general hopelessness of the line at the rescue mission, and kept the suspense going as to where the old man found his contentment. Some of your sentences didn't flow as well as they might. Can I suggest you read your entry aloud to help you spot the 'hiccups'? Keep up the good work.