Breaking Bitter Silences | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Breaking Bitter Silences | Previous Challenge Entry
By Irene Joshua
08/06/08
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I decided to talk to my dad, after 13 long years. I had come to hate him since my childhood days. I grew up knowing him as someone irresponsible, a drunkard, always fighting with my mom and highly selfish. For him, his appetite for alcohol was far more important than his wife and his only daughter.
Mom suffered a lot because of him. With abuses and accusations every day, she had become a wounded soul. She worked hard to bring me up and to educate me all by herself. With her help and discipline I grew up as a child who stood first in everything, be it studies, sports, elocution, debate or any other extracurricular activity.
By the grace of God I had secured a job in a reputed company. My mom was very happy about it, for all her dreams had come true. Yet I wasn’t that happy for I had to leave my mom and go to another city for my work.
Mom had stopped talking to dad for years now, though they lived under one roof. She did her marital duties by cooking food and doing other chores for him. Though she is a Christian by birth, it was difficult for her to forgive him and she harbored hate and bitterness in her heart.
After having tasted the Lord, His love and grace and being born again, I strongly desired to see my parents restored in their relationship. I knew it would be difficult for me to talk to my mother about forgiveness. And though I had forgiven my dad in my heart, I hesitated to talk to him. Finally I made up my mind. Nothing would fall in place unless somebody initiated a talk. Having been saved by His grace, I knew that God wanted me to be a channel to bring my parents to Him and also to restore their marriage.
So I wrote to my dad saying that I wanted to meet him. He would have been surprised to see an invite from me, for until now my conversations with him were limited, formal and sometimes rude.
My dad was waiting in a restaurant when I joined him for dinner that evening. After placing the order, I initiated the conversation.
“Dad, I have not been happy about the way you have been with me and Mom all these years. But now I want things to change. You and Mom are entering into a golden age and you both need one another. It would be nice if you could learn to value relationships. Forgiving and forgetting the past, it would be nice if you both could start your relationship afresh.”
My dad sat with his head bent. He was looking below the table. I knew he didn’t have the courage to look into my eyes.
I continued…
“Dad, it would not be possible for Mom to forgive you that easily. But I am sure God would help you, if only you could confess to Him you wrongs and ask Him to help you to restore your marriage.”
“Dad, we all can live happily once again. Just think about the years we had lost as a family -all that joy and blessedness. Dad, if only you could make up your mind…”
I stopped. I saw tears in my dad’s eyes. For the first time in my life I saw him cry. I saw a man I had never seen before. I knew that God had touched him. I was sure that things were going to be fine. I thanked God for His work in our lives and I gently held my dad’s hand in affirmation.

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