Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Telephone (07/17/08)
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TITLE: My First Cellphone | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joyful Thiek
07/19/08 -
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And with the whole mobile trend thing, there certainly are occasions when you want to curse your dad for being a low-earning pastor, or for that matter, you even want to curse God. You go to school, you walk in the streets, everywhere you go, you see your friends carrying cellphones, calling this or calling that. And over time, you can’t fare well among your friends anymore. You become a loner in your heart. And you begin to hate everyone around you, even yourself.
You reach home and asked your dad if he could possibly, possibly buy you a mobile phone. You know he can’t afford to, and you know he does not want to disappoint you either. I hated that part. Of course I never wanted to disappoint my parents too by asking for something they could not afford, but somehow the worldly side always seemed to get the better of me, and it’s funny how when my parents told me they can’t buy me one as yet, I’d walk right of the house, or sometimes refuse to talk to them. Why did I have to do that?
Now looking back to those days sure do reveal much as to the measure of my parents’ love for me, how even in their most miserable state they never wanted to undo my hope, how they never once shouted back at me as I had done so many times to them. When out of anger I burst into my room, sometimes crying, my dad would come over to me explaining to me of how God would eventually give me a mobile phone someday, that now is just not the right time as yet and would tell me of how God who had helped us thus far would never forsake us or want to disappoint us. We just have to be patient. Maybe, He wants you to be a telephone for him before you can own your own phone. Maybe He wants to connect to your unreached friends through you. And that is what God desires of every Christian: becoming a telephone for him. “Don’t you worry, son, someday Big Daddy's gonna buy you the best mobile phone.”
My father’s words still echo in my heart, even today. But somehow I never could bring myself to be contented without a cellphone, at least during those days. Yes, I was stubborn. I was a bad kid. But maybe, that was the way of life. You never can appreciate the present; and when finally you do, it is past. And now having lived many miles away from my parents and getting to see them only twice a year, I have grown to love them so much, though not as much as they love me. But I do, and I have realized that.
It was right after clearing the All India Engineering Entrance Examination (2006) and I had to study in a place far away from my parents’ that my dad’s words were to eventually come true. God never forsakes his children. A distant relative taking pity on my family’s state and as a token of his appreciation for my success donated Rs. 50,000 (roughly $1100) for my admission and other stuffs I would be needing, of which mobile phone was one, as it was the only means to stay in touch with my family. That was when I finally possess my first cellphone!!!
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I got a bit lost in your work. Correcting the formatting would help. It's also a bit wordy. Eliminate all the unnecessary.
Great job.
To help the reader, put an extra space between your paragraphs.
Well done. Thank you for writing this.