Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Uncles/Aunts (04/17/08)
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TITLE: Uncle Jesus | Previous Challenge Entry
By W. Yvonne Birnell
04/22/08 -
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Ted and I were overjoyed at the prospects of becoming grandparents. The one thing I had never thought of was how this would affect our young daughter. I was about to find out.
You see Ted and I have, a two family situation going on. When we first married, we had twin boys. Bill and Tom, who is now Twenty-one years old, then later, I mean much later, God blessed us with a little girl, Mary, who was now five years old.
Well as I was cooking breakfast that morning, into the kitchen walks my little Mary, “Mama?”
“Yes Mary.”
“Am I still your daughter?”
I turned from the stove and said, “Yes Mary, you will always be my daughter.” I smiled and turned back to the stove. Never thinking where this was leading. I was soon to find out; Mary was a very inquisitive little girl with a big imagination.
“Mama, is Bill and Tom still your sons”
I turned the stove off and gave my full attention now to find out what was on my daughters mind. “Yes Mary, Bill and Tom will always be my sons. Why do you ask?”
“Well, mama, I heard daddy and Bill talking last night and they said, “Daddy is becoming a grandpa, and Bill’s going to be a daddy. Then they told me I was going to become an aunt and Tom would be an uncle.”
“Mama, how can I be your daughter and an aunt at the same time?”
I could see the dilemma this was causing my daughter, so I sat her on my lap and explained. “You see Mary; you can be different things to different people. To me you are my daughter, to Bill and Tom you are there sister. Now what daddy and Bill was talking about last night, is our titles, for the new baby. You will become an aunt, Tom, an uncle, and dad and I, grandparents. Do you understand?”
Mary shook her little head yes and then looked at me so seriously. Then unexpected Mary said, “Mama, I’ve heard you say many times, you are God’s, daughter. Does that make Jesus your brother?”
“Well Mary, I guess you could say that.”
Mary‘s eyes lit up, and the biggest smile I had ever seen came across her face as she declared, “Oh WOW!, then that make Jesus my uncle, right mama?”
My chin hit the floor as I sat there with this precious bundle in my arms. My first thought was out of the mouth of babes.
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This was a good story and if you choose to do anything with it in the future, you may want to have someone proof-read it for you so that the wording does not take away from the meaning of the story. An example would be the subject verb agreement where it says, "Bill and Tom, who is..." Because your subject is plural, it should be, "Bill and Tom, who are..." In that same paragraph the tense does not agree as when referring to the sons' age you use the present tense, but when referring to the daughter's age you use the past tense. Also, make sure to use question marks in questions, and capitalize proper names.
Great story here and I'm sure that as you continue to write you will continue to capture our attention! Also, great title. There was no way to pass up reading a story with that title!