The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/08
Such a tragic story, and the descriptions in the first few paragraphs are so tender.

There are some unnecessary commas which interfere a little bit with the flow of this story, and I'm not sure that I understand how this applies to the proverb for this week.

I really liked how you portrayed the sweet relationship between mother and child.
02/22/08
Wow! This is so intense. You have some great descriptions here. Very good. Keep on writing!
Laury
You paint a vivid picture of the mom's anguish.
While facing years in jail is not pleasant, avoiding it via suicide is cutting off the nose, in my book.
Tenderly done. Good job. :)
02/23/08
You created a memorable character and a vivid scene. Keep writing.
A very heart wrenching story. You did a great job getting the reader to sympathize with the main character. I couldn't see the topic in there, but I still am very glad that you shared this story. Keep on writing!