Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)
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TITLE: Stiches of Life | Previous Challenge Entry
By mark lyon
01/03/08 -
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The marks we make in life are finite, absolute, certain, and conclusive. But just as Isaac Newton once theorized “Every action has an equal & opposite reaction,” we too must understand that all of our actions are interconnected, they are interdependent upon each other, and they are sewn together by our experiences, by our participation, and by our witness to our existence. And because we engage with others, our electricity is interrelated with all the other staccato events in life.
What we say and what we do, directly affect those we come in contact with and indirectly effect and influence the sociological, environmental, and cultural nuisances of our existence as well.
At the end of our life, we unify all that has occurred, we gather all the information that we have acquired, and we sum up our life.
We reflect back on the seeds that we have sewed, we look upon the fruit of those seeds, and we connect those replications, those events, those trials; one stitch at a time.
But when we get to the end of our life, worldly fashions like materialism, competition, self indulgence, and pride have little meaning when compared to those circumstances where love for others took priority.
When we stitch together those moments where we offered help and assistance to another, we expand God’s love, we inflate our appreciation of life, and we foster hope, optimism, and aspiration towards our fellow human beings
It’s when we put the needs of others before ourselves that we find real value & true meaning for our existence.
God’s strongest, most durable, and most everlasting stitch, bonds & strengthens itself through the fellowship, hospitality, and care we show towards others.
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It helps the reader to an extra space between paragraphs.
Keep writing.
The use of "&" was bit unusual and stuck out more than "and". I found this a bit distracting.
Take a look at your sentence structure. Nearly all of your sentence contain lists--work on ways to vary the structure so that the essay doesn't fall into a predictable pattern.