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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Church (12/06/07)
The great-unfinished Cathedral loomed before me as I stared unceasingly at its breath taking beauty. Various workmen had clanged their hammers for almost 100 years but this hollow shell of a building remains incomplete. Six steeples rose above the city skyline proclaiming its presence and reminding the world of unfinished work. In great detail biblical giants of the faith are detailed in limestone rock. Since the roof of the great temple has never been completed echoes of emptiness reverberate off chilled stonewalls and up into the heavens only to get carried away by the motors of exhaust releasing automobiles and honking horns.

As I stood motionless on the crowded city street below, the masses speed past seemingly blind to the relic of the faith that emerges before them. In a rush to get to their next appointment passersby ignore the very building that perhaps defines their own faith. It is quite possible that this very building defines the busy natives' own spiritual lives; a spiritual life that is empty, cold, covered in holes, and that is crying out for something more. Just as the outside weather is able to flood the inside of this church perhaps the holes in their faith are easily flooded and washed away when the storms come.

As I watched those people quickly rush by sadness filled my soul with a desire to let them know that this church does not represent God. According to this church God is dead. This church does not fill with people who love God. Hymns of musical praise do not echo off the walls, inside this great cathedral a vast distance seems to stand between mortal men and an unreachable God.

Then I heard a still quite voice speak in the depths of my soul whispering, “you are the church, you are the church.” At that moment I began to utter under my breath heartfelt prayers for those passersby to know the God whom sent his son Jesus to die for their imperfections so that we might have an intimate relationship with the God of the universe. I cried out that He might give me a chance to be the church and to tell someone in that busy city about a savior who is in love with them and who wants to fill those holes in their empty, cold soul with a love they have never dreamed.

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
1 Peter 2:9 NASB
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This article has been read 629 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
12/14/07
Very contemplative and moody...I liked it.

You did some tense-switching (past to present and back), and be mindful of the defference between "quite" and "quiet".

I could easily visualize and even hear this scene--good descriptions.
Yvonne Blake 
12/16/07
I like the imagery of an empty cathedral. Good description of the building and the people rushing by.
Karen Wilber
12/16/07
I like the imagery of your second paragraph - how you tied the unfinished cathedral to the emptiness in their lives. Good message.
Karin Beery
12/18/07
I like the comparison between the church (being cold and empty) with people's spiritual lives. Some of your comparisons are worded beautifully.

Most of the sentences run long and without appropriate punctuation. Try varying the sentence lengths (and a few well placed commas) to help with the flow.