Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Worship (corporate) (10/04/07)
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TITLE: Treasures of my heart | Previous Challenge Entry
By Anna Wilde
10/09/07 -
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The morning commute was full blown when I came out of the tunnel and hit the bridge. Traffic was moving at a crawl three lanes wide, and I would be late for the second day this week.
The high rise on the east side where I had taken on a position in a financial investment firm a few months earlier loomed large on the horizon and in my mind as the ideal job. I liked the work, the 401(k) plan, the insurance, and even the cubicle I could call my own, as well as the office dynamics. However, in recent weeks my father-in-law’s health had taken a turn for the worst and he and my mother-in-law could no longer live alone. Days before he had been released from the hospital, then my husband and I moved both of his parents into our house. As I ruminated over the morning’s events around PC’s needs, as well as our daughter’s, it occurred to me someone needed to manage our household, as well as be there at all times. I asked the Lord for strength and wisdom during this stressful, uncertain time, and the courage to follow His way.
The struggle raging inside of my mind and heart had to do with everyone’s needs; my own included. So the real question, as I saw it, came down to this: Were the goals I had my eyes on realistic for our family’s needs? Sure, I wanted accolades work provided, kudos for bringing in the top $ that month, and the office camaraderie, but at what cost? A paycheck, a 401(k) plan, vacation time, and a few days of sick leave? The reality facing me was the fact that someone needed to be ‘managing’ our home front, and that too was a worthwhile job, though the pay was nonexistent. Nonetheless, there was another factor; my heart and thoughts were not my present job, they were back at home.
Late again, and this time greeted by my supervisor, Gina. She wanted to know how my father-in-law was doing. I gave her the latest prognosis. Without kidney dialysis, he was not expected to live long. He was a physician, and knew that with this Sepsis raging in his body, and kidneys failing, his days were numbered, and he was at peace about it. She was sympathetic, but as she continued her line of questioning, I suspected there was more behind it. She went onto say the Vice President and Human Resources could not abide my tardiness anymore, and there was talk among the other employees that I was not doing my job with all my focus these days. I asked her what she was suggesting, as my fatigued brain was slowly absorbing this ‘meeting’. She said slowly,” Maybe this isn’t the job for you.”
I took a deep breath, and replied calmly, “Okay, let me spare us both any further conflicts. I quit.” I went to my desk, turned off my computer, and packed up my things. She was still sitting in her office with a dumbfounded look on her face when I walked by a half hour later for the elevator, but I felt as if a giant weight had been lifted. I had not expected to feel liberated and excited, but suddenly it occurred to me this was the direction I needed to take. The still small voice of the Spirit confirmed this when the verse went through me, “My ways not your ways (Isaiah 55:8). Maybe my heart wasn’t deceiving me after all, instead it was teaching me to listen, since my desire had been for many years to serve the Lord Monday through Saturday, as well as Sunday.
As I left the elevator and walked to my car, my sense of liberation continued; no more 7 AM commute for a 9 AM job, no more living two lives as I worked at my computer terminal all day, and to top of my rising euphoria, traffic was moving at a 60 mph clip as I went back across the bridge to Seattle.
It then occured to me, where my treasure is, there would my heart be, also. (Matthew 6:21)
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