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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fearful (08/23/07)
I saw a woman come into view with an expression of sadness and dread on her face. Joan’s eyes were wandering and unsettled; she heaved heavy sighs. I think she shook with fear. Her tennis shoes were muddied with mire and muck, her pants had holes. Joan’s tee shirt was covered in something. Was that blood? She looked back and gasped, “I’m so weary and frightened!”

Joan might have been a fair maiden in another world. Perhaps that wasn’t a van she drove but really a dappled gray stallion that she rode.

Soon Joan saw what gave her peace and hope; a one story office building, though it might have been a palace in her heart. A wonderful counselor was inside waiting for her.

“This is sacred ground! This is a magical place!” I whispered to her as she approached my tree that stood near the sidewalk to the front door.

I saw her glance my direction and then look at the stones half buried in the dirt with various writings on them; I’d tell you what they said but I’m not gifted in that reading way, only rhyming sometimes.

“This IS magical!” Joan spoke aloud sounding less fearful and she visibly heaved a sigh.
As she went by my tree she began to morph.

I whispered to her “He has not forgotten you. He is with you!”

Joan began taking longer, more purposeful strides. Her worn out tennis shoes disappeared and now I saw beaded sandals on her feet, or were those jewels? The black pants with holes and the white tee shirt faded before my eyes to a beautiful cerulean and sapphire silken gown.

Joan was now Alijandra in all her radiant splendor, one of our best prayer sword-women. Alijandra looked over her shoulder through her long auburn curls. She gave a painful shudder and then I saw an arrow stuck in her shoulder and a spear was poking at her back and moving her hair. At the other end of the spear I saw a terrible oppressive warrior of the enemy in battle gear. He was so hideous to look upon that I fearfully covered my eyes with my tiny antenna.

Alijandra turned to face the monster, though her gown had been torn from the evil spear thrusts and her shoulder was oozing black poison from the arrow. With her own sword raised, Alijandra shouted, “The lord has not given me a spirit of fear but of Power, Love and a Sound Mind!” A fierce wind whipped towards the monster and lifted the fighter’s curly hair in the process.

I fluttered to her hair and ear behind the wind gust and whispered with my tiny green Cicada mouth, “Your counselor is praying for you”

Alijandra looked out of the corner of her eye and saw the familiar hand of her fellow warrior and counselor on the window of the office building or was it a palace? She now turned with more strength and awareness towards the evil one. She shouted confidently within the wind “greater is HE that is in me than he that is in the world. Be gone!”

The fearful creature vanished.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Allison Egley 
09/01/07
This was very unique and creative!

I was a bit confused in some places about whether this was supposed to be a dream or if she was just imagining everything, but knowing one way or the other really isn't crucial to the story.

You did a great job thinking "out of the box." Keep writing!
Laury Hubrich
09/03/07
This reminds me of a piece of Perreti work or Ted Dekker. Imaginative and well done!
Rachel Barclay
09/06/07
This looks like a very hard piece to write, especially the transition between the physical and the spiritual world. You've got a great imagination. Keep up the good work! I really enjoyed it, especially your description of her hair and her willingness to fight the spiritual battle regardless of her fearful feelings. And yes, very much Frank Peretti!