Discovering Worship through Embarrassment | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Discovering Worship through Embarrassment | Previous Challenge Entry
By Regina Rudzik
07/22/07
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My cheeks burned as the worship team and I labored through song number four. I desperately wanted to crawl off the platform. Because of a devastating church split which resulted in the loss of our worship leader, I found myself in the dubious position of leading the remaining musicians and congregation in song. Naturally a shy woman, I never considered myself a leader and felt oh so much more comfortable coming alongside to help. I also found it hard to say ‘no’ and in a momentary loss of sanity agreed to lead worship. I had prepared so hard that week. Though not terribly gifted on the guitar, I knew the basic cords. I selected the obligatory seven songs arranged from fast to slow, met with the rest of the musicians, and practiced those songs over and over again until I felt somewhat confident. I believed we were as ready as we could be. But from the very first note on that Sunday morning I knew all was not right. The voices of the congregation seemed discordant. The instruments sounded out of tune. Everything was disjointed and it remained that way as we battled our way through the list of songs. I thought I would die of humiliation. Struggling through song number four, I suddenly began to feel a deep sorrow at what we were presenting to the Lord. All of a sudden the humiliation I was suffering didn’t seem to matter that much. My heart broke and I prayed silently, "Lord, I'm so sorry. I know how bad this sounds. But it's the best I have to offer You and I'm not going to stop. I'm so sorry." We finished that song and resolutely launched into song number five. I cannot explain what took place next, but it literally sounded as though a chorus of angels joined our little congregation. A deep, rich sound enveloped the church. The instruments flowed and sounded fuller somehow. I was in awe at what was happening. It continued until the last note of the last song sounded. Quietly, we gathered our things and took our seats as the pastor got up to give the sermon. At the conclusion of the service as I was assembling my children together and preparing to go home, a friend of mine ran up to me from the rear of the church. She exclaimed, "Did you hear that? When you started singing, (and she named song number five), it sounded like angels joined in!"
I know now that true worship rose to Jesus from my soul when I grieved at the inadequacy of our offering. I knew He was worthy of so much better but acknowledged it was the best we had to give to Him. The sorrow mixed with love that emanated from my heart was an offering He found acceptable. What began as performance was transformed into pure worship. And I realized that day that out of embarrassment and the resulting humility was fashioned a precious gift.

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