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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the MYSTERY genre (04/05/07)
“I knew I shouldn’t have watched that movie!” I moan at myself as I flip the covers up over my face. What was I thinking? I shouldn’t have let the guys talk me into it.
The wind gives off an extra loud howl as I jump out of bed, frightened by the un-known noise.
Was that really the wind?
I shake the idea out of my head. Of course it was. What else could it be?
I stumble around my room blindly as I feel around for the light switch and listen to the rain beating angrily against the roof. I breathe a sigh of relief as I flip it on. Nothing. Oh, isn’t this just great! I instinctively flip it on and off in frustration to be sure. Still nothing.
Why does the power have to go off now of all night?!
I jolt immediately as an abrupt ring fills my bedroom. I grab at my panic-stricken heart, take a deep breath and hobble over to my desk and feel around for my cell phone.
“Hello?” I ask, taking a deep breath, focusing on sounding normal for my mom, she calls like every ten minutes to check up on me… But it wasn’t my mom…
Silence.
“Hello?” I ask again, ready to hang up. That’s when I hear it… Heavy breathing. “Hello?” I ask one more time, reluctantly. The breathing continues, increasing every split second until what seemed like forever a voice comes on the other side. I wish the breathing would continue…
“I know you’re alone.” A male voice says coolly, sounding slightly muffled, causing the tiny hairs on my arms to stand straight up.
“Wh-what?” I manage to choke out.
“I know you’re alone.” He repeats. My palms begin to sweat and my heart is beating wildly, feeling as if it was beating its way up my throat.
“Who is this?!” I ask, raising my voice.
“I’m watching you.” He says, confidence rolling of his tongue. Goose bumps begin to raise on my arms and legs as I slam the phone down, and hurry over to my window. I can’t see anything past the thick ocean fog that’s surrounded my window, one of the few displeasures of living near the ocean.
I quickly check to make sure it’s locked and back over to my cell phone to check the number. Go figure, restricted number.
I bite down nervously on thumb nail, cautiously glancing around the room. Expecting any minute for someone to appear from my walk in closet, I grab my pillow and hold it tightly, as if it were a life line.
My cell phone rings and I hesitate to answer it, but my mom will get mad if it’s her and I don’t. So I answer.
“Hello?”
“You’re not scared are you?” he mocks. I slam the phone down and it rings again. “I can’t let this guy scare me.” I tell myself and pick up the phone.
“What do you want?!” I yell.
“Whoa…Jess…it’s me…Kevin.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“What’s going on?” he asks. I decide I might as well tell him.
“Want me to come over?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay I’ll be right over.” He says and is sitting on my floor five minutes later.
That’s when we hear it; a loud crash coming from downstairs.
“What was that?” I ask, unable to keep the panic out of my voice.
“Got a flash light? I’ll go check it out.” He volunteers. The power is out again so I rummage under my bed and feel around for my blue Maglite.
“Here.”
“Thanks, I’ll be back in a minute.” He says as he leaves my room. A minute passes, and then another. He still hasn’t come back yet and I begin to worry.
A scream fills the house and immediately has me on my feet. A scream coming from…Kevin.
I hesitate for a moment before making my way downstairs and check all of the rooms. All clear. Then where did it come from?
My question is quickly answered as another ear piercing scream fills the room, coming from the basement. Why is it always the basement?
I slowly make my way to the door and down the stairs. The door slams behind me and I slowly turn to see a monster behind me and I scream. The mask comes off and I see Ryan grinning at me and Kevin laughing in the corner.
“Your so easy to scare.” He says, laughing at me
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This article has been read 819 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jacquelyn Horne
04/13/07
With friends like that....

Well done. Cute mystery. Good job.
Brenda Buikema
04/13/07
Nice story! I would've been scared too! (and I'm a Stephen King fanatic!)
LaNaye Perkins
04/13/07
You had me on the edge of my seat! Great story!
Catrina Bradley
04/15/07
Spooky story! Good job on this one! A few pointers to help you out in the future: “I know you’re alone.” He repeats. When adding tags to your dialog like in this sentence (he said) the punctuation should be "..alone," he said. And you said "jolted immediately". You don't need "immediately" - jolted is a strong verb - tells the reader that it was immediate.

I liked the part about clutching her pillow - I do that too when I'm scared, like it's going to protect me. Wonderful writing, keep it coming!