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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)
It was a cold brisk winters day, when we made our annual Girl Scout Christmas Shopping trip. On that day all the girls were able to do their Christmas shopping for their families. As the girls arrived they giggled and chattered amongst themselves talking about what each one was going to shop for. When the last girl arrived I piled them all into the mini van and we were off to the mall. On the way there we passed the women’s homeless shelter. Gathered outside were mothers and their children shivering in the snow trying to keep warm waiting for the doors to open so they could go in for the night. All the girls watched as we slowly passed by. The talking stopped and the silence became almost deafening. The girls had remained silent most of the way to the mall. When we finally arrived their eyes brightened again and joyful chatter began. Excitement once again was back in the air.

The girls cruised the mall for hours without purchasing anything. My legs and back were aching and my feet hurt so bad I didn’t think I could take another step.

“Girls I’m sorry but I think it’s time we get going, you girls have exhausted me.” I said while placing a hand on my back hoping I could somehow hold myself up.

“Mom, we can’t seem to find the right things. We want to buy gifts for family and friends, yet we also want to buy something for those homeless children at the shelter.” My daughter said with distress in her voice.

“Girls, I know your family and even your friends would be satisfied with whatever you gave them. Don’t worry about the children at the shelter I’m sure they will be given something.” I said.

The girls huddled together in conference. When done my daughter, being appointed spokesperson stepped forward.

“Mom, we decided that Christmas should be more about giving to the Lord since it is His birthday, right? The Lord tells us that we need to take care of those less fortunate than ourselves. So we’ve decided to take our money and buy presents for those at the shelter.”

As she finished I looked into every girls eyes and saw true compassion in every face. God convicted my heart through those girls that day. I dug my cel phone out of my purse and called directory assistance, got the phone number to the shelter and called. The director at the shelter gave me an approximate count of how many women and children would be at the shelter, their ages and suggestions of what to buy. I told the girls and they were off shopping again. When the girls finished we headed home to wrap the gifts.

On the 23rd of December I gathered up the girls and we headed down to the shelter. Cot’s were lined up in rows throughout the room with women and children sitting on them. As we walked in with the beautifully wrapped packages squeals of excitement echoed throughout the room. The girls handed out packages with the help of the workers at the shelter. Faces beamed with joy as they unwrapped their gifts. Chattering and laughter filled the air. As I spoke with the director I had learned this was the first Christmas celebrated with gifts for some of the children. That night I was thankful God touched the hearts of my Girl Scout troop.

A few weeks later we received a thank you card from those staying at the shelter. As I read the letter tears welled up in my eyes. I started to sob when I read the last two lines.

“We have felt that nobody, not even God cares about us or even remembers that we exist. Then when God sent His angels to celebrate His son’s birthday with us we realized God hasn’t forgotten about us at all.”

The true meaning of Christmas was brought into many hearts that year by six, ten year old girls.
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This article has been read 936 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jacquelyn Horne
03/09/07
This brought me to tears. Such a wonderful example. You might perfect this a little, lengthen it and submit it to a magazine for publication. Now is the time to send off Christmas stories as they work way ahead. Happy shopping.
Sara Harricharan
03/13/07
Beautiful and heartfelt. This was something I could read out of Guideposts. The characters of the girls were wonderful and I especially liked the little note at the end from the card. Keep up the great writing! ^_^
Maryolyn Payne
03/15/07
Very nice, warm story. Keep writing from the heart. God Bless!
Donna Powers
03/15/07
A lovely thing to do at Christmas time! I enjoyed reading this very much. Good work
Deborah Porter 
03/21/07
Deborah, this was such a lovely message. The shopping trip alone is such a good idea, but the girls' actions were so beautiful, and the message from the women at the shelter brought tears to my eyes. This is a definite Christmas heartwarmer.

From a technical point of view, it just needs a little bit of polish here and there to make it really shine. All just little things, like some more commas, for example, in this:

"When done my daughter, being appointed spokesperson stepped forward."

Needed to be something like this:

"When they were done, my daughter, being appointed spokesperson, stepped forward."

As I said, all tiny things (like "cel" phone, instead of "cell" phone, and "cot's" instead of "cots") and nothing that a bit of tweaking won't fix.

Overall, the story was a Christmas winner.

Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator and Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine.