Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Gone Fishing (02/01/07)
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TITLE: The Fisherman | Previous Challenge Entry
By Diana Pelham
02/08/07 -
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The fisherman sat eyeing all the trinkets and baubles he’d scattered about his workbench.” Susie will really like this now, “he said, talking out loud to only himself. “It took me a long time to figure out why she didn’t like what I had before. Who would have thought that just changing it to a deeper shade of pink and adding that swirl of diamonds would make it perfect?”
Carefully he placed it in his tackle box.
Next came a harder assignment—Joe. “He’s been a challenge for me from the start. Again and again he’s refused everything I’ve offered.” Anger rose in the fisherman’s voice. “But last time I noticed something I’d never seen before…just a hint of desperation. So I’ll not change a thing. I’ll just offer it again and jerk it away faster. Yes, that’s my tactic. Make him think he’ll lose it for good if he doesn’t snap it up.” The fisherman’s voice grew louder as his excitement mounted.
“All these others are working. I just need to be patient,” he said with a sigh.
He slowly closed the lid, rose from his chair, grabbed a sign, and headed for the door. As he strolled down the path whistling, the sign could be seen dangling from the doorknob: Gone Fishing. Be Back Soon. Satan.
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A few punctuation issues, but this is really a good piece. I hope you expand it to a full-length short story some time.