Humor

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“Did you hear that? I heard a knock, I tell you!”

“Oh, honey, it was probably just a bump in the road. Now quit worrying and drive. We’re already late and I have to go to the restroom.” Wives seem to have just the right words to say, never mind the fact that several moving components from the vehicle were now moving down the highway. That would have been fine had they been attached to the car, but is disconcerting when a piece passes you on the shoulder of the road.

“That’s it! Get your brother on the phone and tell the kids to put their backs into pushing this piece of, of, well what used to be our car.” Her brother is a mechanic and always knows what to do in these crises situations.

It’s good to have a brother-in-law that is a mechanic. He, on the other hand, may not think it is such a fine idea to have one that’s not. Tough tiddly! The rules say that brothers-in-law that are mechanics have to help those that are mechanically challenged.

In fact, there are a lot of rules that apply to people with advanced knowledge in different professions. Take a nurse for example. I had a nurse that was a member of a church that I pastored that was always willing to be interrupted during dinner, or a kid’s baseball game, or some other such trivial undertaking to answer any medical question that I had when the whim hit me. Although I did wonder why she told me to take a whole bottle of aspirin and an enema one morning when I called about a rash on one of my kid’s arms.

Some people are just unfriendly at two in the morning. As far as I could tell, her prescription didn’t help clear the rash at all. I, on the other hand, haven’t had a headache in years.

One truly helpful person to have around in this age of technology is a computer ner.., uh, genius. Get one of these guys to punch a few keys on the old keyboard and presto, no more annoying pop-ups on the screen.

They too are always willing to hop into action to solve any computer glitch that may come my way. Take an incident that happened to me one morning when I couldn’t get my computer to do anything. All I had to do was call my computer genius friend and he knew just what to do.

“Ok. Listen carefully and do exactly what I say. You listening? Take your index finger and … the one by your thumb, and push the on button. Now this is the fourth time I have had to tell you this and DON’T EVER CALL ME AGAIN!!!!”

It was only the third time, but at two-thirty in the morning, who’s going to be picky. Normally someone shouting in my ear would have given me a headache, but not this time. As I said, it’s good to have helpful, knowledgeable friends.

As a minister, I too have had my share of early morning calls. Most of them don’t end up with good results. They usually involve someone dieing or being in the hospital. Sometimes their need is more extreme than physical problems. There have been a few that were concerned with eternal problems. These are definitely more important than any bodily ailments.

I guess we all have our part in this world. Surely, if God has given us a gift, talent, or special ability, then we should be willing to share it with others in need. As a matter of fact, I have a phone call right now.

“Is my refrigerator running? I’ll have to go check. Yes, it is. Who is this?”

A nurse shouldn’t cackle. It’s just not professional. Especially at three in the morning.

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