Humor

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It’s hard to be honest with yourself at times. Take the comb over for example. The comb over is a technique used by folliclely challenged men of all ages. It involves letting the hair on one side of the head grow to about shoulder-length and then be carefully combed over the top of the head to meet with the shorter hair on the other side of the head. Which side of the head to use for the longer hair is optional.

The object of the comb over is to hide the glare radiating from the top portion of the head which contains no hair. It’s a very effective technique that fools no one. On a windy day, the comb over may actually look like it is waving at you, but I suggest you fight off the temptation to wave back. It can be embarrassing for both parties.

Down the hallways of time, many methods of covering the loss of hair can be seen hanging on the walls. Toupees were once the fashion that caused many a fit of hilarity. Like the comb over, toupees were highly influenced by the wind. I think it is God’s way of saying “Nice try, but you are still going bald.”

My personal favorite is the “hair in a can” idea that some genius thought of for making money off the hair impaired of this world. From what I can understand, you just spray it on and it covers up the balding areas. And we say women are vain.

Whether plugs or implants, toupees or spray paint, all are just ways of hiding the truth. The truth is that this body will continually have problems that will never be fixed.

I wrote an article about false teeth that may be relevant to the subject at hand. I named the article False Teeth. Pretty witty title if you ask me. Nonetheless it brings to mind another flaw with this old body that most people deal with in their lifetime. Not only do we lose hair, we also lose teeth. I know it’s not a pleasant topic, but it must be dealt with in order for us to be honest with ourselves.

Sweet little granny used to have this trick she done with her false teeth that would scare the bejeebers out of little kids and timid adults. In order for you to get a complete picture of the scene, imagine your own granny wearing quarter inch magnifying lens for glasses. Her hair is in a bun. She has knee length hose that is slowly crawling to the ankles. To a child she looks to be a hundred years old. To an adult, she only looks a hundred.

Granny has to move slowly because she is old. Everything she does is slow. She slowly raises a hand and crooks a finger beckoning you to come closer. Apparently she has something that she wants to tell you. Granny is sweet, so you don’t expect foul play of any kind. You actually suspect that she wants you closer so that she can see who she is speaking to. That is not the case.

When you get into striking range, her eyes bulge, looking like tennis balls behind her thick magnifying lens glasses. With lightening speed she lunges forward and her teeth come part way out of her mouth, resembling a rabid wolf.

The poor victim excuses himself to the bathroom while everyone else rolls on the floor in fits of mirth. Granny was great fun. I miss her.

Her false teeth were just a reminder that this body has its problems and no matter how hard we try to fix them, we know that they are there.

With hair and teeth, there are ways to hide the truth. Some ailments can’t be cured with spray paint or porcelain. Take “Arthur” for example. A cold snap comes through and your fingers start to ache. You rub them and clinch them, but there is no relief. Some people are helped with medicine but it is a continuous battle. Many succumb to the beast and watch helplessly as their hands clinch up into permanent fists.

As much advancement in the world of science and medicine that has come in the last fifty years, the aging of the body has yet to be remedied. It never will. Solomon knew. Even old Methuselah understood. We must understand it also.

It may be that God allows us these infirmities so we will appreciate what He has waiting for us in eternity. It could be that they are here to remind us that we are temporal. Whatever the reason, we should always allow them to help us ever remember our reliance on Him.

Well, I have a dentist appointment, so I need to go. Must be a cold front coming through, the wind seems to be picking up. Maybe I’ll have time to go to the local department store parking lot and wave at some comb overs when I’m done with my appointment.

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