Humor

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A Humorous Short Story by Freddy Rae Teddy [a.k.a. Russell Hessler]-617 words)


This is a story of Peter Pewter. A nice, furry, likeable, and very royal Pekingese canine.
Peter and his owners’ family, the Pewter’s live nearby. They take real good care of him, including feeding and bathing him, taking him to the vet, letting him outside, and walking him. He particularly enjoys being bathed—it causes him to believe he is more royally regal then he is, with him as master and his masters as loyal subjects.
Because he is the king of his domain, strutting around with his head held high is regularly practiced. Since he is kingly, there have been and continue to be random attempts to expand his domain. These attempts cause much frustration for his masters, who are apparently are unable to get him to understand the boundaries of his “kingdom”.
Peter delights in the many walks his masters participate in, giving him opportunities to socialize and establish friendships with the other neighborhood dogs. He is very well-respected by those neighboring canines who know him.
Peter communicates by barking, that’s how he talks. But, it seems like the masters or the neighbors don’t always understand what he’s saying. This will prove to be a real challenge very soon.
One day, a friend of the masters’ shows-up with a collection of items. One of these items is a pet puddy cat.
Instantly, Peter feels threatened! He does not understand why his masters would allow this. THE NERVE! Are they trying to replace him? He barks, desperately trying to talk to them. However, all they do is pet him and give him treats.

They know there is nothing wrong. Unfortunately, they are unable to communicate this to Peter, since they don’t bark.
“What’s wrong with the masters?!” he anxiously asks. DON’T they know what I’m trying to SAY?! This is MY kingdom and domain! HOW DARE THEY! I DO NOT want any other animal here! PERIOD! I guess I’ll have to handle this myself!”
So, one night, very late, Peter sneaks out of the house to confront his new adversary. He quietly moves to the picnic table in the yard. All of a sudden, to his utter amazement, standing there is the feline, staring him right in the snoot! They both stand there, transfixed, for what seems like an eternity. Finally they both speak, barking and meowing.
“This is ridiculous!” they both think to themselves. “How in the world are we going to communicate with each other?!”
Suddenly, they both remember their inter-species language translator manuals and immediately whip them out from under their collars. After much dialog, they both reassure each other that neither one is a threat to the other.
“Whew!” as both of them breathe a sigh of relief.
Peter finds out that the cat’s name is Felonna, and she doesn’t enjoy being here anymore than he doesn’t want her here. Unfortunately, her master does not have a home right now, so she’ll have to stay here until he can find one.
After this, they become the best of friends, looking forward to many new adventures together.
When morning comes, however, the masters are unable to locate their furry friend inside! They panic, figuring the worst has happened! The alarm goes out and all concerned pray and seek the Lord.
When they finally go outside, they find the two sitting at the picnic table, playing cards. This causes all the humans to bust-out laughing so hard, that their teeth fall out!
And they all live happily-ever-after! Amen! Maybe?


(Author’s Note: Felonna’s master ends-up moving into the Pewter’s neighborhood. As a result of this, frequent adventures involving these two characters are commonplace.)

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