The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: SICK (05/09/19)
It’s ruthless in its pursuit
And it robs the mind so slowly.
Slowly.
Slowly.

It starts out so subtly.
You wish you had seen it sooner.
Sooner.
Sooner.

But it wouldn’t have made a difference.
Not really. Because you can do nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.

And so, you cry out to God,
The only One who can help.
Help.
Help.

But if you’re honest, right now
You only have one question. Why?
Why?
Why?

He is a prisoner in his own mind,
Full of lies and deceit.
Deceit.
Deceit.

No, honey. There aren’t any other people in the house.
It’s only us.
Us.
Us.

His mind keeps declining
Until his body has no choice but to follow.
Follow.
Follow.

It’s usually a gradual decline,
But sometimes it comes in terrifying, steep drops.
Drops.
Drops.

You never know when the next “last” will be.
The last “real” conversation. The last words. The last steps.
Steps.
Steps.

Each time a piece is lost, you hope it’s just for that day.
You hope that tomorrow will be better.
Better.
Better.

And when those pieces are gone, you don’t have time to mourn
Because you have to adjust to accommodate the new loss.
Loss.
Loss.

Until, finally, those “lasts” are bigger.
Last food. Last drink. Last breath.
Breath.
Breath.

You can’t help but be sad,
But there’s also some... relief.
Relief.
Relief.

Because, at least now you know
He is no longer suffering.
Suffering.
Suffering.

He is finally...
Healed.
Healed.
Healed.

And one day, you know
You’ll see each other again.
Again.
Again.

One day, he will stand and wait for me
To welcome me into heaven.
Heaven.
Heaven.

And then I’ll finally be able to say,
Hi, again, Daddy.
Daddy.
Daddy.

And we will have all met our...
Savior.
Lord.
Healer.

***********
Revelation 21:4 (NKJV) And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

In memory of Dad who had Lewy Body Dementia and met his Savoir face to face on December 28, 2018.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 443 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/16/19
This is powerful. I really liked the repitition. It really worked in this piece. My only critique is tiny. You start out using the universal you, then switch to first person near the end. I think it might have been stronger if you had stayed with one voice (either one would work great). But that's just me nitpicking. In the beginning, I thought of many different illnesses it could be. The ending is full of hope and sends a strong message to the reader. I'm so sorry for your loss, but someday will rejoice in your reunion.
Barbara Culler 
05/17/19
Wow! Goosebumps near the ending. The echoing was powerful. I've never heard that done before. Well done!
Verna Cole Mitchell 
05/18/19
I could feel your heartbreak and your faith in this loving tribute to your dad. The repetition increases the intensity of emotion.
Betty Castleberry
05/20/19
"Each time a piece is lost..." I love that phrase. It tells so much. A puzzle with a missing piece is no longer complete. This is what it makes me think of. Excellent work.