The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/30/14
My favorite line: The man’s heart raced like a rabbit without a hole to hide in.

I was feeling a little jarred in the first half, thinking that I wasn't sure I wanted to know how this story ended. But, the twist was quite poignant and a relief.

Wonderful writing!
10/31/14
Wow - Great story and superb writing. I never expected that ending. Well done.

God bless~
11/01/14
I like the trail of clues that slowly reveals what was happening (and had happened) to engage the reader till the end. Good story telling.
A well told story generally, but I have to wonder if a woman with a restraining order would really forget to remove an outdoor key.
11/06/14
Great story and build-up.
Two red inks you probably already noticed.
He looked back to see if anyone one was out late walking their dog.
Was it intentional to call the woman Karen all through the piece and Sharon in the second to last sentence? Are they the same person?

I loved the ending that leaves it open for a reconciliation between husband and wife. :)
Congratulations on ranking 19th overall! Happy Dance!
You did a great job building the story. The pacing was perfect with the suspense gradually growing. The ending was great too. It allows hope, but doesn't Tie everything into a neat bow.