The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 351 times
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Member
Date
10/31/14
This kept me at the edge of my seat all the way through!
Well done.

God bless~
11/01/14
A wonderful reminder of God's protection and in forms we can't being to predict. Chilling story with a great ending.
11/01/14
It's haunting to know that stories like this are true more often than we'd like to believe. One suggestion: I wonder if you might transition into this sentence more smoothly for the reader - 'It turned out that a boy had followed Chi San when her uncle had taken her away. He had just been curious.' - Suddenly the reader is taken back to a previous setting, and I found it threw me off a little as I read the story.
I'm glad the story ends with a rescue, that somebody cared enough about her to find her. It's interesting contrasting your MC's attitude to her, seeing her worth as being a human being, to others who saw her as a means to make money. I found that a hard-hitting and profound message. Thank you for sharing.
11/04/14
You've given us a powerful reminder of the heartache caused by human trafficking, without resorting to salacious details.
You've also packed so much within the word limit. Well done.
11/05/14
Beautifully told. I am so glad for the happy ending. I pray more real-life Chi Sans will be rescued.
Powerful, compelling story!
Hugs, Judi
1 Timothy 3:16 KJV


11/06/14
Sometimes we forget that stuff like this happens but here's a reminder. Nice writing!
Blessings!
This is a powerful story, especially in today's world with the headlines sprinkled with stories of human trafficking. The only suggestion I might have would have been to start off with the italicized paragraph. It would have been a great grab (although your beginning was good too, but I found myself holding my breath in the second part). Congratulations on ranking 20th overall! Happy Dance!