The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/16/08
Great story! You brought out the ladies fears and loneliness in a very real way. I think it would have been good to bring out the fear factor in the ending also. I really liked how it fit into the theme. Good job.
08/16/08
This was absolutely chilling, inspiring, traumatic, hopeful, dark, and yet fulfilling... wonderful writing, and setting of scene and characters... it touched my heart
08/17/08
The fear was absolutely palpable. Great descriptions, and I was completely engrossed from beginning to end. Love the last line too.
08/17/08
This is a good, chilling story. I was a bit confused about who was hiding, and about the old lady, then the little girl. It would be terrible to be so abused, but I am glad the girl found peace at last. Wish you had had more words to tell us more. I remain a bit confused...Maybe you will tell the rest sometime, or fill in the missing parts...Great story to be developed into a much longer one...Helen
08/17/08
Very nice stretch, Amy. I really enjoyed it. I felt the girl's emotions. Great job. God bless.
Very nice story. I could feel the emotions, too, and felt like I was hiding with the girl/lady under the desk. I was confused at first, too. On my second reading, I got it. Great idea, great concept. Bravo.
I was hanging onto every word. Great suspenseful writing.
This was really good. it took me a second reading to completely understand the intro, but I soon figured out that she was having flashbacks of her childhood with her abusive father.

I really appreciated the Bible reading and your ending. It gave comfort and hope to what was an otherwise chilling story. Thank you for sharing. :)