The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
This is very sweet. Good job!
11/03/07
A little rushed at the end to get in all the details, but hurrah for the ministry of the Sunday School anyway. Good.
11/05/07
Good job with the grils' speech and personalities.

I'd have liked more of a sense of their circumstances--I get the feeling they're impoverished, correct? Leave off the last paragraph altogether, and then use those words for more development in the early part of the story, to help your readers sympathize for the children.

Very touching!
11/06/07
Cute story!
11/07/07
I want to know more. This little peek makes me want to understand the characters, and their plight. And why did the mom make the older girl take her sisters? She couldn't take care of her own children?

So many questions. This is a strong start to a much longer story. Nice job with the topic.
Good voice in this piece. I agree about leaving off the last paragraph.
I enjoyed reading this.