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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Prosperity (05/11/06)
Tiffany? It’s Mummy. How are you dear? Hold on, just let me find my recipe… good, now we can chat while I make Daddy’s supper.

Cheese soufflé
Prepare your equipment. It must be scrupulously clean and grease-free.

Right, I’ve been thinking about the wedding. We should start planning. We don’t want to find all the best places gone. You remember Georgina, Brenda’s girl? When she got married– terribly rushed affair–they couldn’t get Rosa for the flowers! She’s booked up months ahead, of course…
Hold on, darling, first things first.
You need to lose about nine pounds. I’m popping a copy of Atkins in the post, dear. It worked marvels for Pamela. Also the face-lift helped, of course. What about getting your ears pinned? Daddy would pay, of course… Think of the photographs.

Grate cheese finely to prepare for later.

Now then, I’ve been writing lists and timetables. Breaks it up into manageable bits.
So this week, we’re deciding… where’s that list? Here! Flowers, car, venue, honeymoon, number of guests–we think 250 will suffice–and the Dress, of course.
No, don’t interrupt please, this is important.
Diane’s working on the Dress already. We thought simple–classic ivory silk. She’s sketching two or three options, and we’ll send them to you for approval. She’ll start cutting and sewing in six weeks, so you’d better get going on that diet.
Good, that takes care of that…
Ah yes, the reception… just hold on, darling, I need some butter.

Melt butter on gentle heat, blend in flour, stirring.

Tiffany? Are you crying? I hope you’ve got a clean handkerchief… Oh, love, weddings can be so stressful. Listen; spoil yourself with something nice on Daddy’s Mastercard. How about a pamper weekend in the country? I know the perfect place–Midas’ Retreat. Simone went there–she says the masseuse is marvellous. The seaweed wraps alone took an inch off her thighs.
Better now? Good girl.

Blend in cream, continuing to stir.

Now, where were we? Venue! Daddy’s golf club, of course. Such a beautiful setting. I only hope it won’t make Kevin’s family feel out of place…
Of course, we’ll need outside caterers–I’ll book Antoine… Shame Kevin’s a vegetarian…
Menus... no, silly me, menus aren’t until week four…
Flowers! Have you thought about colours? I thought magenta, but Kevin’s birthmark–so unfortunate. Lavender? It brings out the colour of your eyes… would you consider contacts, darling?

Beat in cheese and egg yolks.

Oh, there’s something I must tell you, Virginia phoned yesterday to suggest an organist. I told her we’ve had Digory booked for months. She was mad!
She couldn’t resist a dig about the honeymoon, though. Suggested you would be surfing the web for a bargain! The nerve of her! So choose whatever you fancy, and Daddy will write the cheque.

Beat egg whites until stiff.

Don’t interrupt please, Tiffany. I need to talk to you seriously about something.
Now Kevin’s marrying into the family, he needs to make some changes. Not just his ear-ring, his clothes, too. Daddy’s tailor would be delighted to help. Saville Row–just mention Daddy’s name. And a decent haircut–he could be quite presentable with some attention from a good barber…
Tiffany, is it so important it can’t wait? Thank you…
You know Kevin refused Daddy’s job offer? He’s a very headstrong young man. He could triple his income overnight, and then just think where you could afford to live! So much better than that nasty little flat, with its rising damp and noisy neighbours.

Fold in egg whites gently.

Anyway, it’s so nice to have a chat. We really don’t see enough of you these days. Won’t you pop down one weekend soon? You and I could do a little shopping. After all, I need an outfit for the big day, and you know how I value your judgment.

Bake in centre of oven.

Just hold on, I need to pop my soufflé into the oven… there, done.
What’s that dear? A word in edgeways?
Calm down, darling… you’re getting overwrought…
Well I… it’s… very well, Tiffany, I’m listening.

Good gracious! Well, I think you might have let me know before I bought twenty yards of silk dupion.
Yes, I daresay you are upset. So am I. I’ll be the laughing-stock of the bridge club…
Just hold on a moment, Tiffany. The whole world doesn’t stop because he’s broken off your engagement. I need to check my soufflé…

Oh no! It’s collapsed.
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This article has been read 1502 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Lynda Schultz 
05/19/06
Excellent! You have a gift a creating a character and getting across a message without actually telling us "this is the message". Good work.
Jessica Schmit
05/19/06
I agree with the previous comments. Your talent is evident. It'll only be time when the whole world realizes it. Very, very well written. Awesome message and clear storyline. Great work!
Sherril Wendling
05/20/06
Full bank account, empty soul. You really got into the character and brought home the point! Inclusion of the souffle concoction is brilliant--a picture of every relationship this poor deluded woman has ever attempted. Wonderful job!
Joe Moreland
05/22/06
Great illustration of how empty one can be with so much stuff. I just couldn't get out of my head the whole time I was reading, though, why was this shallow, pretentious woman cooking? Surely she has someone to do that? :>)
Great story, nonetheless, and, like the others, I love how you got the point across without stating the obvious - and you resisted the temptation to explain why the engagement was broken off, which I found refreshing.
Helen Murray
05/22/06
The questions you leave in the reader's mind simply open up the mind and make it chew over the story more, intensifying its unstated message. They act as an alert, a "Stop and look for trains!" signal. Magnificent technique.
Jan Ackerson
05/22/06
I agree that the "device" of the souffle was very effective, and that your writing was quite engaging (no pun intended!). My quibble was with the timeline--the souffle collapses just moments after being put in the oven, and I also don't believe Tiffanie would let her mother go on for so long before dropping her bad news. This was a really fun read!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz
05/23/06
I loved this mother. You did s great job creating her. The souffle was brilliant.
Val Clark
05/23/06
Yes, the mother was very convinvcing! And the nuance value of the souffle is a great device to underpin it. This also created a great sense of place without describing any actual thing! Well done!
Virginia Gorg
05/23/06
Well done - I like using the souffle and the inevitable "froth." I almost expected that she would have eloped, thus spoiling Mom's plans. Nicely done.
Beth Muehlhausen
05/24/06
Sooooo awesome! This makes my own creative juices want to flow! And what a shocker of an ending....!!! Great character study on the mom, although I admit I wanted to shake her a few times. :-)

Amy Michelle Wiley 
05/24/06
Wow. I wouldn't be surprised to see this in the winner's circle. This is so creative and well-written! Perfect job of showing and not telling.
Rita Garcia
05/25/06
Fantastic read! Great job!
Rev. Toni Brown
05/28/06
Very nice..Very creative..I think I know the mom!