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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Day and Night (07/10/14)
The bed, soaked again with night sweats, showed patterns of restlessness. All day long Edith looked over her shoulder, but she couldn't shake the demon that was shadowing her. It was a cancer that was metastasizing into insanity. And now she lay awake wide eyed. Her mind racing to find some peace, some safety from her tormentor. She looked over at her husband hoping that he was unaware of her plight. Then she saw a shadowy figure at the foot of her bed. No, two figures caught her eye.

Edith lived a lie. She had a secret desire buried like a hidden treasure--her treasure. Her husband used to be the apple of her eye. His strong robust arms assured her that he was a man that would protect and provide for her, but now he took second place to her desires.

“What's wrong honey, why can't you sleep?” came the words she cringed at, she would have to lie to him again. She looked back at the foot of the bed, the figures were gone. Maybe they were the strangers her husband asked to help with the move.

“I'm fine... I...I am just worried about the children,” whispered Edith as she turned away masking tears of deceit. She stared into space as the night dragged on.

Night and day, day and night she had been wrestling with this monster. It was now morning. Her heart fluttered like a confused butterfly, her eyes marbled red from sleeplessness. Edith struggled with her husband's decision to leave the city. Did he know? Had he found out about her covert addiction?

“Good morning honey,” her husband said as he reached over and stroked her hair, “ are you ready for a busy day? Plenty to do.”

He could sense distress as he gently placed a tender kiss on her cheek. He recalled her once youthful appearance now faded like a spent rose. For a brief moment he reminisced about the first time he saw her. Her beauty took his breath away, her hair was like silky chocolate, her skin as the amber moon's reflection on a still pond. Her smile captured his heart like the allurement of precious gold. But now all was consumed by her self-indulgence.

“Why do we have to move to some small, insignificant little town?” she silently screamed beneath the facade of devotion. She loved the city. She hungered for it. He couldn’t possibly understand. How could he? She did such a good job of concealing her passion. During the day she would tend to the house, the children, the chores that now were shackling her spirit. At night she had been surreptitiously sneaking out to bask in the city noise, the laughter, the gayety, the addicting nectar of licentiousness.

She labored to fix their parting meal. Cloaked in contention she couldn't help but stare at the two strangers. Their eyes pierced her soul. Did they know? Were they part of her clandestine nightlife? She couldn't look at them. Did her husband bring them here to confront her about her infidelity with this city?

The trip was long and arduous. Edith's soul was needing a fix. Her heart raced as this longing gnawed at her. Like a relentless, starving beast snapping at the heals of its prey, this oppressive urge to turn back vanquished her will to continue.

“How much further do we have to go?” Edith asked, eclipsing her despair.

“I know this is hard on you,” he replied, “this will be a good beginning for us. You look like you need a change and to tell you the truth the constant worry about crime and immorality was taking its toll on me.”

Edith tried to subdue the tremors of enticement. Like a dormant volcano coming to life, memories of the city churned inside her. Each step she took brought renewed exhilaration, passion, and longing that finally erupted. She had enough. She turned toward the two strangers and yelled out, “I know who you are and why you are here.”

Their stoic faces didn't penetrate her tempered desire, nor did their angelic plea sway her decision.
The flash was blinding as she turned.

Edith, Lots wife, was immediately turned into a pillar of salt.

"No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62 NIV


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Note: Edith was the name used by Hebrew historians referring to Lot's wife.
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This article has been read 819 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Lynda Schultz 
07/18/14
You had me fooled right until the end! Engaging story. Nicely done.
Lollie Hofer 
07/18/14
Wow! The ending caught me by surprise. Loved all of it. Well done.
Virgil Youngblood 
07/18/14
A fitting title and a nice, surprising twist at the end. Well done.
Brenda Rice
07/20/14
The thought of Lot's story entered my mind, but I was too caught up in your story to consider it.

Well written and captivating.

Thank for sharing.
Diane M. Bowman
07/22/14
Wonderful suspense.
Loving anything more than God and His plans is indeed 'cancer that metastasizes into insanity.' Fun description :)
C D Swanson 
07/22/14
Well done! This was an excellent bit of writing and an ingenious way of presenting the topic!

I really enjoyed this.

God bless~
JK Stenger
07/22/14
Yes, I enjoyed this. It's true what the other readers said. I too, was fooled by the end. At first I was wondering were this would lead and then it hit me in the end. This surprising endtwist was well thought out and must have taken some thought. I read it a second time and appreciated your use of language.
Blessings
Graham Insley
07/22/14
I admit to being confused as I read -- but when the ending came, it all made wonderful sense. As already said, you did a great job of concealing the ending and setting the reader up for a surprise.

Blessings.
Bea Edwards 
07/23/14
Excellent piece of work here!

I didn't have a clue until the last few lines.

Great storytelling and yet another unique POV on a Biblical account.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/24/14
I didn't see this ending coming at all. I love it when there is a good twist. You demonstrated how this could be happening today. For many it seems like a fairy tale, but the voice you used made it feel modern and that if allowed to go unchecked still today, Satan can quickly get the upper hand quite easily. Great job and quite thought provoking.
Joyce Krznaric
08/06/14
HA! Surprise! I was captivated till the end.