The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/17/12
Great analogies in this entire clever piece. I really enjoyed the lessons, and examples throughout. Including the cartoon/movie.

Excellent job. Thanks.

God Bless~
This is a nice devotion. I'm not familiar with the story Rango but you did a beautiful job telling it.

I just have a tiny bit of red ink. Instead of telling the reader what you plan to do (I'll illustrate...) just let your words show the reader. You have a nice way with them. Also write out numbers like one hundred per cent

You did a great job of making your message clear. It's so easy to get caught up with the riches and fame of the world but at times we need to journey into the desert to be alone with God. Nice job.
05/20/12
A great lesson to be learned from this well thought out story for "Fame".

The "Title" is what got my attention - but then I find the author is an "old man"...(using his own words, by the way). Instead of "Slip is Showing"...I'd have thought you'd use a man's #1 Oops. (If you know what I mean?) Anyway, well stated and well written.

05/20/12
The "Title" is what got my attention; but then I find it is written by an old man...(to use his own words).

I'd have thought a man would use the #1 Oops for men...if you know what I mean? But your story gives a very good lesson on Fame...and well written.
05/20/12
A spot on parallel of how a search for fame - albeit by cartoon - is trumped by God's plans.

Once the technical stuff is cleaned up (as mentioned by others) this will make a great devotional!
LOL! Hey folks, the "old man" is referring to the "old nature" as opposed to the "new nature" we have as Christians! Thanks for the comments so far!
05/23/12
I'm not a big fan of animation, but I did love Rango - maybe because it's Johnny Depp's voice - and Rango has a good message. This was a delightful story, well written and enjoyable. God bless!
Very well written. I liked the phrase describing self as over active sour dough. I can just picture that in my mind! Good title too.