“Don’t do it, Michael, don’t do it,” Alice moaned.
“Honey? Doctor Brown, is she alright?”
“She’s fine, Michael. She’s still feeling the effects of the anesthesia. I have to admit I’ve never heard that one before. Even drugged she sounded matter of fact. It’s none of my business, Michael, but are you two having a disagreement? I don’t need my patients upset when I’m trying to get them back on their feet.”
“No, no, Doc, it’s nothing like that. Alice is just a somewhat superstitious.”
“Don’t walk under a ladder and breaking-a-mirror stuff?”
“No, not quite. This is more or less self-induced, I’m afraid, and this pregnancy didn’t help matters any.”
“Son, when was your last check-up, or more importantly, your last psychological evaluation?”
“Don’t do it, I’m warning you,” Alice said through clenched teeth, then faded back to sleep.
“Ow, ow, ow…ouch.” “Are you sure she’s still under Doc? She just took the hide off my arm with her nails.”
“Yes, she’s still out of it, but it sounds to me like you’d better not be around when she wakes up. Michael, be honest with me. I’ve known you and Alice for a long time. Son, have you physically abused Alice?”
“Are you kidding me? Do you think that if I ever did such a thing I would ever go to sleep with Alice in the house and a kitchen drawer full of knives? I don’t think so. I may be ignorant of a lot of things but I’m not stupid.”
“Well, then what’s all this nonsense about?”
“Okay, okay, just don’t laugh. It’s not a laughing matter as far as Alice is concerned.”
“Trust me; you have my serious, undivided attention.”
“Don’t you dare, Michael,” Alice moaned once more.
“You’d better get on with it before Alice wakes up; I’ve got to hear this.”
“You see, Alice believes that my career is directly linked to our family.”
“Well, of course it is, that is how you provide for the needs of your family.”
“No…no…you don’t understand trust me. When we had Adam, our first child, I was working at the First National Bank as a teller. Two years later I took a job at the Twin City Newspaper and during that time we had Tommy and Tonya, the twins. Then a year and a half ago I was able to land a good job with the 3M company.”
“Well, that explains the triplets that just showed up if her theory is correct.”
“Exactly, and that’s why she’s so upset.”
“Michael, I can see how this could be construed as such, but she’s already had the triplets. What is she afraid of? That she’ll have another set of triplets next time if you continue with your present job?”
“No, I recently received an opportunity for the position of administrator at a local church and have considered leaving the 3M company.”
“Well, that’s wonderful Michael. That should have made Alice happy.”
“It did… that is until she found out it was with Four Square Baptist Church. She doesn’t know it yet, but I took the position.”
“Well Son you’re on your own. I’ve got rounds to make.”
“In other words you don’t want to be in the room when she wakes up.”
“The room? I don’t want to be on the hospital grounds when she regains consciousness and you lose yours.”
“I might need some assistance here, you know.”
“Yes I realize that. The Emergency Room is just three floors down.”
“Doc, I’m serious. I have sympathized with her concerns.”
“Oh, I see. Then that rules out tube tying.” So in what way have you sympathized with your wife’s superstitions?”
“They’re not superstitions to her, Doc.”
“Whatever, answer my question.”
“I turned down a job with Motel 6.”
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