I Was a Teenage Tourist Attraction | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: I Was a Teenage Tourist Attraction | Previous Challenge Entry
By david grant
08/08/15
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I was a sick amusement park ride this morning.

The mirror was telling me "Your look is Magic Mountain today, dude!"

A zit, right off my left nostril, large and in charge of my face, red with anger, and white with foam, was staring back at me. You could ride on this pimple, it was so big. Soldiers could repel off it, and wolves could howl at the moon from it. It even had its own national anthem.

Ohooo, say you can you see,
your face under me
what so sadly you'll hail
as the zit of all time.

O say, does that star spangled
Piiiiimple still grow oooooo
On the face of the free
near the nose of the brave.

It was the fifth face on Mt. Rushmore, and nothing would cover it. It was not "Bully!" It had to be worse than wooden teeth, and it was sure to last longer than four-score and seven years, if I didn't do something about it.

I globbed on my Clear-A-Spot, but it only made the not-so beauty mark look bigger. I tried some of my sisters make up, but that just make it look like I was taking it out to dinner. Sure, I squeezed it, but then it looked like I was trying to hide something. (wasn't I?)

"Hey, Bobby! Can you spare one of those silver dollars you're hiding under that band-aide, in the middle of your ugly face?"

That zit! It seemed to grow bigger every time I looked at it, and it developed an evil laugh, and a mean sense of humor. My god! I had a stand up comedian living on my left cheek.

It giggled. "Hey Bob, growing two noses today?"

It sneered. "Hey Bobby, boy, you should charge rent for that thing!"

"Oh, Bobby," it snarled. "you gotta pop that thing before it takes over the world!"

I knew my friends would say even worse things. Certainly they weren't going to miss their opportunity to rip me, hard. And those who didn't like me would make my life a horror movie.

Titles?
"I was a Teenage Tourist Attraction."
"Day of the Living Zit"
"The Texas Whitehead Massacre."
and
"Eruption on Elm Street."

But what could I do? It was too hot to pull a turtle neck sweater up over my face. I would just have to brave the cold, cruel world of my peers. I did, and I got a fairly wonderful sick surprise, too.

Surprise One. My girl had a worse pimple than I did. Ha! I could have kissed it, but I wasn't sure if it was contagious.

Surprise Two. My hallowed school halls were full of pimpled kids in turtle neck sweaters. Ha!

So, being a Teenage Tourist Attraction wasn't so bad after all, as long as there were plenty of other scarier rides around me.

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