The Official Writing Challenge
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02/21/10
Beautiful rendering of this story... you've brought it to life! The grief was in stark contrast to the joy at the end. Nice work!
02/21/10
Nicely done. I liked the subtle way you contrasted John's reaction with Peter's
02/22/10
Lovely work on melding the stories from the gospels with believable, logical details. Great writing!
I knew from the start when you mentioned darkness and Mary what this story was about.
Great job bringing it to life!
You have captured the moment well. Good writing.
a nice retelling of the story-- I also picked up straight away which story it would be- but I think that's a good thing (gives the reader a piqued interest because they think they know how it'll be told). I think you conveyed Mary's grief without being overly dramatic and were able to get the reactions of those around her right (in my opinion). now, red ink pen, the only quibble I pick is capitalizing Gardener, because at that moment, she didn't know who it was- but I know others might feel differently on that-- it's more of a POV thing. not bad for first time dabbling. :)
02/23/10
You made Mary and grief very real, I could feel what she was feeling in that moment. The contrast between Peter and John was poignant as well. Well done. Don't hesitate to "dabble" in this genre again. Well done.
02/23/10
Wonderful, Sarah! You captured the intense emotions of the situation perfectly and did a great job bringing in little details to create setting. Great job with a new genre.
02/24/10
You captured the intense emotions of this wonderful time! Great job.
You did a beautiful job. I could vividly picture everything and the grief was overwhelming.
02/24/10
Such an evocative piece of writing; you've caught the atmosphere, the emotion, all of it. I could almost smell the dark, early morning air, beginning to sweeten as The Son was revealed. Great writing, as usual!