The Official Writing Challenge
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I'm intrigued by this story-it sounds like the beginnings of a great novel. In the short story, however, I am left wondering how he is going to make it past the guard on the way home. Will he make it to his lady or have to go to war? Way to go keeping your readers on the edge of their seats. :>)
11/09/09
So good! I'd love to read a much longer version of this.
I agree with the others! I want to know more!!!!
11/09/09
Beautiful Story,more would be good!
You win my "Wow" award! I just made it up, but I am impressed. Excellent opening line. Some masterful writing, especially when Henrik reached the mountains. Loved the line, "Even the plants know she is no more." And the flower found by the "Rock"; GREAT touch.
Super job. You are destined for higher places than Masters in writing. You have both passion and talent.
-Henry
11/09/09
Oh wow, I had chills going at the end! When he arrived at the empty valley, my heart had already sank before his did. I was so wrapped in the story, I didn't want it to end. Yet when it did, I felt more than satisfied. You amaze me with your ability to put the reader right "in the scene".

I am not a qualified enough writer to critique this in any way, I couldn't find anything wrong with it!

BTW have I told you that you are one of my favorite FW's authors??? :-)
Beautiful story--excellently written. I was curious as to what would happen when he came by the guard again.
I really enjoyed reading this and I agree it would be a great novel.
11/11/09
I agree with both Henry and Sarah. Your writing is indeed special. This is so rich.
You have what a "real writer" needs to tell a story. I look forward to seeing your work in stores on best seller lists. Keep writing. It will be there.

mona
11/11/09
Very well written! Good story line which kept my interest throughout. Laura
11/11/09
Your writing here is near perfection - masterful doesn't describe it. And the story was wonderful!
11/11/09
This reminded me of one of my favorite musicals, "The Sound of Music". Your title is even a phrase from the song. You've written a wonderful story that kept my attention throughout!
11/11/09
Excellent work Rachel, I really have come to admire your writing style. The clarity of the detail is amazing. I found a couple of little things that threw me during this great literary romp through the German takeover of Austria.
When you mentioned that her only word had been edelweiss, the quotation marks were left off...and at one point the word "were" was used rather than "where", which flustered me a little. Regardless, another outstanding work, and for a history buff like me, pure ambrosia. Great job!
11/12/09
I love that you challenge yourself to write such different pieces. Your talent stretches in so many directions. Well done! And a well deserved placing! I wouldn't be surprised if it was quite high on the Top 40.
11/12/09
Very, very nice. It captured me from beginning to end. And the end...perfect. Congratulations.