The theft spoiled our happy marriage, and it caused lasting effects and dissension among all our family. The guilt of that crime has never left me.
I was stupid in taking advantage of my husband's love for me and involving him in that larceny. Just a moment's foolishness; but a moral lapse that was unforgivable. I shall forever bear the shame of my wrongdoing.
Now, waiting to be called into the Lord's Judgement Chamber, I was fearful of what was to come. I was sure that the Lord would make me aware of the full consequences of my sin. Taking that forbidden fruit from off the tree of the knowledge of good and evil had indeed left a bitter tinge to the rest of my life.
It astonished me, that on being ushered into the chamber, I was left there alone. All my life whilst I had been on earth flashed before me.
I felt the Lord's loving and strong hands as he formed me from Adam's rib and the earth of the ground. I knew then that he loved me and was pleased at the creation of his hands. I saw again the lovely abode that he had given us to enjoy. It was painful to witness our expulsion from Eden and the devastating consequences of losing so much for what now seemed so valueless.
In this chamber, I witnessed the murder of Abel by his brother Cain. I shuddered at the hatred and violence that overspilled in the act of slaying my lovely boy. I felt devastated at the fear and remorse shown by my son Cain as he fled from us all, in fear of a revenge attack. I observed that he was never at peace, and showed great remorse and deep regret for his sin. In that room I longed to reach out and touch him and tell him he was forgiven and that I loved him.
I cried out, “Lord, forgive us both for our sin!”
Then a full revelation of my sin, which had affected the whole human race, was revealed. I saw people crippled and the chronic sick, dying; infants struggling for the breath of life, too weak to survive; armies of people fighting and murdering each other as Cain had slain Abel.
Good and evil appeared to be struggling to gain ascendancy on God's earth. This battle was being assisted by the angelic hosts. God's army of angels was battling against fallen angels for supremacy. Each force had victories and held territory. I was feeling responsible for this serious dilemma.
I cried out, “Lord, did my sin taint those that came after me, and cause such havoc on the earth?”
Suddenly, I saw a young sweet maiden who was about the same age as me when I was created. Angels surrounded her and held a banner over her head that read, 'The Most Blessed Among Women'. I saw her nurturing a holy child. I thought that this was a most blessed family, and that it seemed to offer hope to a lost world.
Yet this Holy One seemed to be hated by so many unholy and fallen beings; this caused his blessed mother to weep and break her heart. I saw a darkness that covered the whole earth - and out of this dark gloom came a dismal wailing, of what seemed like lost souls crying for deliverance. I felt I was among that throng.
From the midst of the desolation and hopelessness a man attired in white - the brightest white I had ever seen – stood like a victor above the the fray of the dark and tangled ugliness that seemed to have permeated the whole earth.
A wind began to blow through the whole world, breathing new life and hope across its length and breadth. I heard angels proclaiming hope and forgiveness to the lost. Now, a final recovery had been made possible by the Deliverer.
I cried out, “Lord, will you be my Saviour? Deliver me from my eternal guilt and shame. Lord, have I - even I - got hope of forgiveness?
There was no answer - just the sense of His loving smile.
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