The Official Writing Challenge
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03/14/09
Prejudice certainly runs deep and can be so difficult to root out. And yes, it still tears this continenet apart. A nice way to tackle a very thorny topic! You did a good job of creating the different characters.
03/14/09
Honestly, I did not get the story at all. I did like the MC's first name,( although you spelled it differently in one place) probably just a typo. I also did not like the methaphorical description of things, i.e. the breath, the smile, not necessary. Overall writing was good, keep writing.
My favorite line: “It depends on what you’re looking for. You see whatever you want to see, wherever you are. It doesn’t matter what others think.”

This speaks volumes. I've been thinking a lot about a song sung by Sandi Patti, "Love in Any Language, pulls us all together, never apart. And once we learn to speak it all the world will hear love in any language, fluently spoken here."

You made me think of that again. Nice work.
This thoughtful story did a good job of showing how the differences in people is similar to the differences in places. I really liked the character of the old lady and admired the way she was trying to teach the girls to learn to get along with each other, despite their differences.
Oh, I like this! I like how you showed that the girls were very different, but very well could have made great friends, if they just chose to...
03/18/09
If only we could learn to put aside our preconcieved ideas of others. Thought provoking...do the girls ever make ammends?
03/18/09
This is a very good lesson, indeed. Good writing. I love how you always bring your characters to life.
The story, message and all were good, but the writing at times was almost poetic. I liked the feel of the piece, if that makes sense.
03/18/09
The depth of this piece really touched me. I couldn't really see dramatic differences between the two girls' characters, and I think you were trying for that? So I probably missed the main point you were making. I do love the old woman; her dialog is almost poetical, as are the non-dialog descriptions.