The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/31/07
There's a lot to love about this story--a tragic and compelling character, very good writing that evokes the setting, and an intelligent ending.

Take a look at your verb tenses...I really liked the 3rd person present tense (not often seen), but you slipped in and out of it quite a bit.

You really put your reader right there in your main character's head, and in a powerful way.
09/03/07
So much left out, and yet...we can and do read so much between the lines it does make sense to the reader. The haunting and heartbreaking stories of the young...walking scared through life. So pitifully sad, but true. Well written.
09/05/07
Oh,man! Your title fits this tragic story so well! My heart goes out to Sam and all the other neglected children and teens in this world!

Your characterization of Sam is excellent and you helped me understand his desperation. I liked your use of descriptive words and phrases to help me picture Sam in my mind and what his home and parents were like.

Good job! :)

09/07/07
Congratulations, Marita. Your entry has placed 36th overall. The Lists for the Top 15 in each Level and the Top 40 overall is available in the Weekly Results and Highest Rankings forum of our Faithwriters Message Boards.