The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/18/07
This is just adorable. In the sci-fi world, there's usually such bleakness and lack of hope--this shows that the future need not be feared: there will still be sweet teenagers and innocent crushes, and human kindness.

I think you meant "inconspicuous" instead of "surreptitious," and there were a few small punctuation errors, no big deal.

These charming future teens (is one of them based on you?) deserve a longer story, that's for sure.
LOL! I already half-love Anthony. What a neat 'celebrity'! Famous didn't seem to daunt him at all, especially with the little treat he had for Joy and her sister. Too cute and funny! I especially like the bit with rocket-powered hoverboards. That sounds neat. I think you captured a rare side of sci-fi. Kudos to you! ^_^
05/19/07
What a charmer this is! I loved these characters and you gave a new look to Sci Fi, and I really liked it!
Fresh and fun! You should expand this. I can see Anthony in a series that would appeal to teens. Good job.
05/20/07
Creative and fun! I agree with Betty, expand this, it would make a great "short novel." Fantastic writing!
05/20/07
What a fun piece - I thought the images were really vivid. I kept expecting something to go wrong, or the hero to be a villain in some way, but I'm glad I was wrong. Well done.
Very original and fun. Well done!
I got a kick out this story--really enjoyed it. If I were with those girls, I'd just want to say, "Now, how did he do that?" You cleverly used the science fiction genre, and with good characterization!
LOL... I loved this! Great story with lots of laughs packed in.