The Official Writing Challenge
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11/24/06
Good dialogue - good story but I did notice at times you might want to change your verb tense to just past tense. The ending left me wanting more as if part of a longer story. Good descriptive words throughout!
11/25/06
What a touching piece! The title was perfect. I felt the fear in the story.--Good job.
11/26/06
I liked the way you had me wondering why she was thankful the closet door opened inward. I sat there for like an entire second to figure it out then went on to read that the were INSIDE! That was so neat the way you made me think. And thank-you for letting them get out safe. I might have waited outside somewhere but who knows what the neighborhood was like or the weather. There I go thinking again! Good job, good dialogue. I can't wait till he wakes up and finds them gone!!!
11/27/06
Lovely story - deceptively simple in its language, and very powerful for it. I was right there in my mind, holding my breath with them! Well done.
11/27/06
I loveth this. Great story line and writing. Its nice to read about something that was beyond the closet door, that is Godly. God bless.
Great job of dealing with one of our society's problems. You grabbed my attention right away. Very well done.
11/27/06
You had me hanging on every word. I could have cried and I like pieces that touch me emotionally. Great job.
11/27/06
Excellent job. I really liked this. It held my interest and was very believable. Great writing!
11/28/06
You certainly got a big story told in just these few paragraphs. What a contrast between the two parents, one selflessly protecting the child, the other oblivious to the pain he causes his loved ones! A pitiful situation for all concerned. Great writing, here!
11/28/06
The phrase "Can I whisper sing?" just broke my heart. Excellent writing, and so sad.
11/29/06
In spite of the danger, the mom made the little one feel safe in her arms. You conveyed that so well. Good writing!
Well done, written very well
I loved this! The beginning had me a little confused, because I thought the mom was tucking the little girl in. I couldn't figure out why she was glad the door opened in, but once I got that they were in the closet (and the daughter wasn't worried about a monster in it or something) I loved the story. The picture of them cowering in the closet together was touching, but then to add a little girl 'whisper singing' Jesus Loves Me was the perfect touch. And I loved the surprise ending of having their bags packed in the closet with them. Great ending to have them escape the closet and the danger. Did I mention that I loved it? ;)
Good for them for leaving. Great story, well done.
11/29/06
This was very realistic. Felt as if I was right there and could feel every emotion. Great job with the characters and with using the song. :)
11/29/06
Wonderful story with smooth, believable dialogue. Kept me on the edge of my seat throughout and tugged on my heart strings too. Great work!
11/29/06
Very touching and well-written. Your description brought me right into the closet, and depicted their fear very well. Thanks very much for sharing this.
11/29/06
wow...powerful. I'm at a lost for words--I could see the entire sequence of events occur in my mind.
11/29/06
Heartbraking -and unfortunately reality for so many families. Well written.
Go Mama go! I'm glad that this situation didn't hinder the mom's or the little girl's faith.

I have only ever heard of one other story that happened in a closet... The suspense really got me.
11/30/06
The poignancy of the contrast between the violence outside and the tenderness inside was very effective. Well done.
11/30/06
Why didn't this win?!? You know I love your story, but I realized I never left a comment. Such a rollercoaster ride - awesome. Again - why didn't this win??? :) Keep up the good work, Joanne.