Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Love (04/27/06)
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TITLE: Future Bride | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tiffanie Chezum
05/03/06 -
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“But Suzie is so hot,” another sip washed through his mouth. “She’s a beauty. So why ain’t I happy?”
“Infatuation,” Rick grabbed a handful of pretzels, “desire, lust … You can be attracted to someone, but it doesn’t mean love.”
“The agency promised total compatibility,” Jim pushed his half empty glass away.
“Companionship, enjoying the same things may be important, but it isn’t love.”
“A life full of love and happiness.”
“You can’t buy love. Always agreeing doesn’t mean you love someone, or that they love you.” Rick signaled the barkeep for the check, “Love is the most cherished, the most delicate of emotions. You don’t just find it, you nurture it … let it grow. It takes time.”
“But I signed a contract,” he slumped forward resting his head on the countertop, “a lifetime commitment. What am I go’na do?”
“Don’t know, man … Hope you work it out,” he picked up his coat. “Lem’me give you a ride home.”
Jim sank into his recliner, his thoughts still numbed by the cocktail.
“I’m sorry dear. I didn’t hear you come in,” Suzie pranced in, her ever present smile gracing her porcelain skinned face. “How was your guys’ night out?”
“Fine. It was fine,” he didn’t look up.
She placed her hands on his shoulders, her soothing fingers caressing his taut muscles. “Oh, you’re so tense. What’s wrong dear?”
“I dun’no … Nothin’.”
“Aren’t you happy?”
He perched on the front of the chair, “Somethin’s missing. It’s just not right.”
“Are you no longer happy with me?” her grin slipped away momentarily.
“This whole thing,” he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s just not what I thought it would be.”
“If you are not satisfied the contract must be terminated.”
“Can you do that?” his voice perked with excitement.
She meandered to the kitchen with nary a word nor change in expression, an awkward silence suffocated the house.
“Everything okay?” Jim followed her, curious of her actions.
Suzie stood looking out the window, “You are not happy.”
Jim stepped toward her putting his hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry, I just don’t think I’m in love.”
“Then the contract must be terminated,” her eyes blazed with anger. She raised her hand over her head, a glimpse of a knife caught Jim’s eye. He threw his arms up, pain radiated up his arm as his skin and muscle tissue ripped.
“What’re you doin’?” he staggered backward.
He scurried to the den. Locking the door behind him, he grabbed for the phone and dialed 9-1-1. The sound of Suzie ramming the door throbbed throughout the room, beads of sweat formed on the young man’s furrowed brow.
The door burst open.
She lunged at him, swatting the phone from his hand. It shattered into the fireplace, “The contract must be terminated.”
He pushed her aside and ran for the front door, his mind still clouded with alcohol. Unlocking the door he bolted outside, the sound of sirens echoed in the distance, Suzie was closing behind him.
Jim raced down the street, his heart crushing with fear. The sound of chasing footsteps drew close. He crossed the street near the crest of a hill, the approaching red and blue strobes casting dancing shadows across the terrain. He looked back as Suzie began to cross. A screech of brakes, a thunderous thud and Suzie lay motionless on the ground, felled by the police coming to their aid.
Jim and the officer rushed to her side.
She lay crumpled on the asphalt. Jim nudged her shoulder. Her eyes opened, glazed, lifeless, “The contract must be …” her eyes closed and again she was still.
A puddle of fluid formed around the fallen beauty. The officer observed with interest, “That don’t look like blood.” He shined his flashlight, “It looks like some kind of hydraulic … Oh geeze! This is one of those android ladies!”
“She was,” Jim stood beside the officer.
“You lucky dog. I’ve been savin’ for a couple years. I got my appointment with Future Bride next month. Man, am I looking forward to it.”
“Don’t waste your money,” Jim huffed. “You can’t buy love.”
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Great writing, wonderful description, build up of action...well done.
From the time Jim arrives home to the end the action picks up and keeps the reader reading. Loved the twist at the end, that the responding officer was considering a Future Bride of his own. Chills!!