Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Help (02/20/06)
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TITLE: The End of the Rope | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joe Moreland
02/24/06 -
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Man: HELLO! IS ANYBODY UP THERE?!? (pause-yells again) Hello!?!
Voice of God: I am here. You don’t have to yell.
Man: (elated) Who is it? Who’s up there?
Voice of God: It’s me – God.
Man: God? (beat) God! Really? Are you sure?
Voice of God: I always am.
Man: But…how do I know, really know, it’s you?
Voice of God: You know it’s me. You cannot be in my presence without being fully aware of who I am.
Man: I guess you’re right. Something inside is telling me it’s true, despite everything I’ve ever learned telling me this can’t be real.
Voice of God: You think you’re conflicted. Moses had to talk to a burning bush. I didn’t hear him complaining. Well, not much, anyway.
Man: Well, being as how you’re God and all…do you think you could help me out here?
Voice of God: Of course I can. What seems to be the problem?
Man: (Flabbergasted) Well, I’m hanging off the side of a mountain here, about 300 feet off the ground, with no safety line. I’m just holding onto this rope for dear life.
Voice of God: Hmmm. You know, you really shouldn’t go climbing without a partner.
Man: I know, I know. It was a stupid thing to do. Can you help me?
Voice of God: Of course. I can do anything.
Man: (After a long pause) Well?
Voice of God: Well what?
Man: Are you going to get me out of here?
Voice of God: You didn’t ask me to.
Man: Yes I did!
Voice of God: No you didn’t. You asked me if I was capable, which is not the same thing. Don’t argue with me. I really do know everything.
Man: Fine! Would you please get me OUT OF HERE!
Voice of God: It would be my delight. So, what would you like me to do?
Man: Huh? I just told you what I want.
Voice of God: (very patiently, as to a child) Would you like me to lift you up to the top? Or would you like me to set you gently on the bottom.
Man: (Exasperated) I don’t care. What difference does it make? I just want out of this situation before I fall.
Voice of God: Fine. I will set you at the bottom. Look, don’t get frustrated with me; I’m not the one being vague here.
Man: I’m sorry.
Voice of God: Don’t worry. You’ve already been forgiven. Okay, are you ready?
Man: Yes. (Another long pause) Nothing’s happening. When are you going to do it?
Voice of God: I thought you said you were ready?
Man: I am.
Voice of God: So why are you still holding on to the rope?
Man: Huh? You want me to let go?
Voice of God: Of course. The rope is only so long and you are already at the end of it. How can I set you safely down on the ground if you won’t let go?
Man: (A long pause. Looks down towards the ground far below. Looks out into space around him, thinking. Finally he throws his head back and yells into the sky). Hello? Is anybody ELSE up there?
Blackout.
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