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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write for the FANTASY and/or SCI FI Genre (10/16/14)
Thud. “Ouch.” Ashley Royce rubbed her backside and when she saw that no harm had been done she gingerly arose from her position and scanned her surroundings to see if anyone had seen her awkward entrance. Apparently not. The nearby crowd was focused on some kind of a fight. Ashley peeked around the lone tree she had landed under to see if she recognized any of the contestants. No such luck.

A turbaned man ran past her shouting “Did anyone see what I just saw? Unbelievable!”

Reaching out to touch his shoulder Ashley asked, “And what was that sir?”

“The giant has been killed. No one thought he could do it but Israel has prevailed,” the man answered looking back at her over his shoulder.

Ashley stood frozen for a moment as she thought about what had just been shared. No, it was not possible. Or was it? The next man she stopped confirmed her suspicions. “Did David kill the giant?”

“You have heard of him? No one really knows who is he is” he answered as he ran away to share the good news with his family nearly tripping over his sandals.

With no one listening Ashley whispered to the air, “Heard of him you ask? Isn’t he just one of the most famous kings in the Bible?” Picking up the dusty Bible she nearly flung it into the jubilant crowd. And just like that she was back at the archeological site wiping her brow from the extreme heat.

Crunch, crunch, crunch. Leaning against the bed with her elbows on her knees Ashley carefully ate the last bag of her favorite American chips and in between licking her fingers for every last crumb explained her predicament to Callie, her best friend and team dog. It had only been an hour since her discovery and already trouble was brewing, she could just feel it. How could she keep a secret of this magnitude and who could she trust to help her?

Kneeling down before the tattered Bible on the floor Ashley experimented. The last time she had traveled to the time of David and Goliath by accident. Cautiously she opened the pages to her favorite passage, Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6. Just like that she was transported to what she could only guess was the time of Jesus’ ministry. Again she was on the edge of a crowd underneath the only tree she could see. Callie was by her side busy with licking the chip package she had been eyeing for a long time. A booming voice broke through the stillness “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33 ESV). Ashley didn’t recognize the voice but she knew there was only one person it could belong to.

Elbowing her way through the crowd as gracefully as she could Ashley soon found herself face to face with her Savior. As he spoke the next verse his eyes seemed to bore right into hers with some kind of a warning. A warning for what? She didn’t know what tomorrow would bring but took his words to heart to only worry about today and its troubles (Matthew 6:34 ESV). Somehow everything would work out and in the meantime she could enjoy the adventure of experiencing firsthand the lives and times of her favorite Bible characters. Maybe she could learn a thing or two from her heroes.
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This article has been read 798 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
10/23/14
I enjoyed this well written entry. Good job with descriptions and imagery.

God bless~
Toni Babcock 
10/26/14
Interesting story! My one suggestion would be to figure out a way to transition from one setting to the next more clearly (example: from the slaying of Goliath to the archeological site to the bedroom.) It seems a little more information keeping the reader in mind would be helpful. Thanks for sharing your creative spirit - keep writing!
Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark
10/28/14
Imaginative and enjoyable . . .
Loving you in and through and because of the Christ, Judi
1 Timothy 3:16 KJV
Noel Mitaxa 
10/28/14
Very imaginative and creative entry. Maybe I'm a tad slow, but I had to read it a couple of times to get a handle on your time shifts.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
10/28/14
Wonderful idea for plot! And you told the story very well.
Yvonne Blake 
10/29/14
Wow! If I could time travel, it would certainly be back to Bible times to see Jesus. Nice job!
Cheryl Harrison
10/30/14
I like your story idea. With a little tweaking here and there I believe it would make a fun chapter book for children. I struggled a little bit with the flow of scene change, but that can be corrected easily. Just for fun, take your last two paragraphs and rewrite them, but this time don't use an "ing" word to begin the sentence. Have fun with it!
C D Swanson 
10/30/14
Congrats!

God bless~
Dee Kyalo
10/30/14
Wonderful piece!