The Winter is Past | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The Winter is Past | Previous Challenge Entry
By Milly Born
09/16/14
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Gusts of wind blew snow against the windows. The warmth of the open fire kissed their faces as they closed their eyes to pray. She had her private chats with God since she became a Christian last year, but she particularly cherished their shared morning prayers.

Her husband thanked God for the new day, asked His blessing for their work—then broke off in the middle of a sentence.

He knelt before her. "I need to tell you something."

"Yes?" Alarmed by the serious look in his eyes, she felt a knot growing in her stomach.

"I made mistakes before we got married. During our engagement."

“During our engagement?” A hint of panic crept into her voice. "No. I don't want to hear this."

"But I need to bring it into the light. The Holy Spirit even interrupted my prayer. I...I was with other women."

"No." She embraced herself as a sudden, cold shiver ran through her body.

"I'm so sorry." He hung his head. "Please, forgive me. I swear that I've been true to you since the day we said our vows before God."

"Why do you tell me this?"

"Because God—"

"He told you to get it off your chest? And what am I supposed to do with this information?" She clenched her fists as she pushed the words past the lump in her throat. "I thought I'd found a faithful man. What kind of Christian are you? You're nothing but a liar."

"I never lied to you."

"Oh no? What do you call it then—telling the truth?"

"I hid the truth, but I didn't lie. Honey, I—" He tried to hug her, but she struggled to free herself, fled into their bedroom, and slammed the door.

***

She pulled the covers over her throbbing head when she heard him come in. Behind her swollen eyelids, her mind painted pictures of her husband's premarital lovers.

"Who were they?"

"What?"

She lifted the covers. "The women you slept with."

"Please, don't ask. I don't want to look back. And I don't want to hurt you even more."

"Then leave me alone."

He blinked and left, a pained look on his face.

Remorse added to her bitter resentment. She knew what she should do—what God wanted her to do. She had considered the costs before she chose to follow Jesus; she wouldn't deny Him—not even in the face of torment.

But I'd rather die for You, Lord, than go through this hurt and humiliation. How can I ever forgive him? And trust him again? I need your help.

***

"Honey?"

She awoke from a restless sleep to find him at her bedside.

"I made you tea. Do you want to eat something?"

"I'm not hungry."

He cleared his throat. "Listen. I called a counselor. She said I do need to share some of the details with you, so that you can process them and move forward."

Has he exposed his sin to an outsider? To help me?

Stuttering, he told her about his misdeeds. It further crushed the fragments of her heart, but her frantically racing thoughts came to a halt.

***

In the bleak light of dawn, she stared at the back of her sleeping husband. Following an impulse, she wrapped her arms around him.

He rolled over and embraced her. "Darling, I love you so much."

"Then why did you betray me?" Fresh tears watered her words, but she laid her head against his chest. "I need you."

As she sobbed uncontrollably, he held her close to his heart.

***

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.*

She sat with the Bible in her lap, comforted by God's word, and forced her lips to pray through a haze of incertitude.

"I don't always feel Your presence, Jesus, but I know You're here with me. You will never forsake me. You are the anchor of my life. And I believe that You can mend my heart."

***

During the drive to church, she watched the sunlit countryside flying by. Tender greens and white blossoms heralded spring.

Her husband took one hand off the wheel and caressed her cheek. "You're beautiful." His shining eyes made her smile. "And I thank God for having you as my wife."

Peace permeated her soul. Quiet, trustful joy filled her heart.

Thank You, Jesus. For the winter was past.**

***

*Psalm 34:18 ESV
**Song of Solomon 2:11 paraphrased

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