Cold hands embrace a small rock, cradling the remains of a memory forever lost. Her fingers tremble as she carries the rock to a boat resting on the river bank. She climbs in, holding the rock hard against her chest. It is time.
She places the rock on her lap and starts to row. Slow at first, then faster and faster. The river is calm and carries her gently to the deepest part of its belly. Bobbing gently on the surface, she places her hands once again around the rock, holding it one last time.
Tears start to fall down her dust-covered cheeks. Muddy streaks line her face, as the tears fall uncontrollably, her shaking body rocking the small boat. The rock, unshaken, molded in her hands, grows warm from her tears, her hands, her unashamed emotion.
What she has come to do, she cannot do. She wants to throw the rock overboard, but cannot bring herself to do it. She would rather tie it round her neck and drown with it than to throw it away. Yet, this rock reminds her of everything she has lost. Her soul that crumbled, leaving nothing but crushed dreams. She remembers looking over the landscape of her heart, seeing only dust and emptiness. Except for one rock. The rock that had stood in the corner of her soul, her cornerstone, her Lord. When everything fell apart, she thought she would need to throw Him away too.
As she sat in the boat, cradling the rock, a voice spoke to her:
Why are you afraid of starting over?
She thought for a long time, and then answered:
Im most afraid of losing control, of all the balls I am juggling to come crashing down around me. I am afraid of not being and doing enough. I am so afraid of letting people down, of what people think of me.
I am afraid of never achieving anything worthwhile. Of living a mundane life that amounts to nothing. I am afraid that I will never be happy, that tomorrow will be just like today. I am most afraid of never finding my real purpose for being here. I am afraid of dying unfinished.
I have lost everything. How will I ever be fulfilled? All I have left is this one rock.
The voice answered, That is all you need.
Matthew 7:25 The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, but it did not collapse because its foundation was on the rock.
Isaiah 28:16 ...Behold, I lay in Tziyon for a foundation a stone, a tried stone, a precious cornerstone of a sure foundation. He who believes shall not be disappointed.
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