The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/23/13
Beautiful job. Excellent read and great way of bringing the topic forward.

Nicely done.

God bless~
The son seemed to show hatred in the first part of the article when he said "like he is worth saving." Towards the end after his trip to the Sermon on the Mountain, he had got rid of hate.

Keep a continuity of emotions in the time frame.

Also the rocks would cry out praise to Jesus and not Pilat.

It would be easier for my old eyes to read with an extra space between the paragraphs. (To keep my place.)

It seemed a little long, but maybe it wasn't.

Jesus will change us when we obey him.

This is a good start to writing.
You do an excellent job of cresting this horrible scene. I can feel the pain of the MC.

Try not to worry about taking these topics literally as it's more about if you want to know the truth go directly to that person.You don't need to mention the topic words to be on topic.

Like many others this week, you made Jesus the proverbial horse. You did a nice job of it too. Showing the boy sprinting for one last look pulled all kinds of emotions from me. You have a wonderful gift. If you haven't checked out Jan's Writing Basics on the message board, I'd strongly urge you to participate. Jan is great at responding to each post and this is a great tool for all levels of writers. You have a gift and I'm eager to read more of your work.
11/25/13
You made this seem very believable, good for you.