The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/07/13
I adore free verse and this is no exception until the shift in the 4th stanza "Next summer..." It didn't fit, something was missing leading into it. Keep writing, you have much to share.
Every poem should paint a picture: your poem takes us to four pictures on the wall of a family life, from the death of a spouse to the death of a home, a dream. There is a sadness, but there is also the sunshine and continuance (beyond the Severn), drawing the reader from one picture to another. Thank you. And God bless you.
This is an intense piece. Your description grabbed my heart. Nice job.