The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/05/09
Wow. I totally got it. From i am war to i am now loved.
it's sad. may God help them know they are loved. That in his eyes, they are not outcast.
How sad that innocent children are used in such a terrible manner. Thanks for this poem.
03/06/09
What a reminder of the injustice and poverty endemic to this part of the world. I liked the simple style of your young, disillusioned poet.
By the way, don't forget to read some of the other stories in Intermediates and leave feedback. Let's all help one another
Once I started reading your poem I was pulled into it. What saddness and what injustice little ones suffer all because of our short sightenedness. God loves all people and for that I am thankful. Beautifully written.
03/07/09
Excellent work! I was captivated.
03/08/09
Wow! What a story told through poetry. Thanks for sharing. Jesus does make a difference.
You have put a lot of thought and effort into this entry. From the first to the last work of this poem you drew me on.

Excellent job; well done.
03/10/09
This seems so simple, yet it is profoundly stated. It begins with a seemingly hopeless state, but ends with Hope Himself.
Well done.
You took your reader on a road from despair to triumphal hope. Well done! Your ability to capture and express these emotions is commendable.
Hi Coleene!
I like this one a lot; I like the flow of it, and the way you built it using short phrases to build images.
Keep up the good work!
Blessings,
Ben