The Official Writing Challenge
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09/14/06
A fun story with great regional flavor--I liked it a lot.

Toward the end, you switch from Billy's POV to Ma's--just slightly disorienting for the reader, but easily fixed.

I like the "boys will be boys" aspect of this story, and the dialect. Very cute.
09/17/06
*snickers* Oh, that's priceless! Leave it to Ma to teach the boy his lesson! That's just awesome!

I do agree about the POV shift...but with practice, that can be solved. Keep on writing.
Hehe, cute story!
09/19/06
As the mother of, now adult, boys this is priceless! This approach to the topic has been addressed quite a bit across the levels but this is the best I have read so far. A lively story with the lesson well embedded.
Save for that pov shift toward the end, this was very nicely handled and the characters were well drawn. Perhaps a little too folksy for my taste, but the lessen shines brightly from this. God bless. xx
09/19/06
Very sweet story - and I enjoyed the wonderful characterization you did with these folk. Great ending, too!
09/19/06
I liked the part about the napkin. Good job!
09/19/06
Very cute! Good for Ma! I know Billy wasn't a carrot fan for long. A really nice story, and it was very well written
09/21/06
I bet Billy could SEE the errors of his ways better after all those carrots. Your writing is top shelf as always. The words flow effortlessly. This was such an easy and enjoyable story to read and experience. Not that it was simple. Reading this was like watching a good actor play his/her role seemlessly. It's like they are not even acting. In this piece, I just enjoyed the story, the writng didn't get in the way. I hope I said that right, cos that was my compliment:).
God bless.
09/21/06
Congratulations Cheryl. I knew this was a good one when I read it. God bless. Look forward to your ADVANCED entry when the challenge starts again. God bless.