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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Joy (05/18/06)
“Grandma, can I hold you?”
“Sure, baby, climb up here on my lap, and you can hold me as long as you want. Mmmm, I love for my little buddy to hold his grandma.”
...
“Grandma?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Hmm, let’s see. I think, hmm, I think I want to be a grandma when I grow up.”
“You already are a grandma!”
“Oh, that’s right! Well, then I guess I got to be what I wanted to be.”
“You’re silly, grandma.”
“No, you’re silly!”
“No, you’re silly, grandma!”
“And what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Spiderman.”
“Wow, that’s pretty neat. So you can help people?”
“Yeah, and fly around and make webs and catch the bad guys.”
“I’m glad you want to be the good guy.”
“And I’ll take care of you and granddaddy and mommy and Phil and A.J."
“I know you will, darling.”
…
“Grandma, can I live with you forever?”
“You can live with me as long as you want.”
…
“Grandma?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, buddy. I love you too.”
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This article has been read 1727 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Lynda Schultz 
05/25/06
Neat dialogue. I can feel the joy without you having mentioned it.
Amy Michelle Wiley 
05/25/06
Sweet story. The epitome of joy.
Lauren Bombardier
05/25/06
Sounds like just the right kind of grandma. That's how I want to be someday. :)
Anita Neuman
05/26/06
Yeah, that fits "Joy" quite well! The dialogue is very realistic, so congratulations on portraying both characters well. A few comments about feelings or actions in between the dialogue would help to establish point of view and bring us into the scene. For example, "...you can hold me as long as you want." She inhaled deeply and smiled at the heartwarming scent of sunscreen and sandbox. "Mmmm, I love for..."

This was a delightful read, though, and the love between these two comes shining right through!
Patricia Williams
05/27/06
Can't be anything more joyful than having time with the grandchildren. Good job.
Rita Garcia
05/27/06
Marvelous picture of joy. Great job!
Jessica Schmit
05/27/06
I loved this just the way it was. Your story has a unique quality to it and that's what I loved about it. Whata beautiful account of what joy is. Great work.
Valerie Routhieaux
05/28/06
I'm a Grandma, and I can see as well as hear what is being said. Great job.
Steve Uppendahl
05/28/06
This was too cool. Very unique and I love how the title slides in with your piece.

Using only dialogue is risky, but you did it very well. Not an easy task.

You also chose conversation that affects many people.

Great job.
Jan Ackerson
05/30/06
You certainly gave this a perfect title, and the two characters had wonderful personality, developed in just a few words. Very well done.
Birdie Courtright
05/31/06
I love this! My five year old grandson and I have these same conversations. I treasure those moments. No greater joy than spiderman on your lap, daydreaming of how he'll one day save the world.

Beautiful dialogue and wonderful way to use the topic.
Edy T Johnson
06/01/06
Life doesn't get any better than this, a glimpse of Heaven's glory for sure! If you continue such polished writing, you won't be in Beginners very long. I see a Master, here!