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TITLE: Back Together | Previous Challenge Entry
By Becky Depp
04/27/06
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Matthew sat at his table in the Café and sipped his coffee. He was very nervous and his coffee wasn't helping. Every time a woman walked in the door he would get even more nervous.

As Matthew waited he bowed his head and prayed: Lord, please let this go well. Let her love me...

When Matthew opened his eyes he saw a Woman standing in front of him. "Matthew?" she asked… "Yes?" he answered. "I'm Andrea…I'm your mom." She said back to him.

Both Andrea and Matthew were excited to be reunited. Andrea gave birth to Matthew when she was 17 years old and gave him up for adoption.

Their conversation seemed to go by slow but yet Matthew was surprised it was over already. As Andrea stood to leave she said "I love you Matthew, I always have." Matthew smiled and said "I love you too—Mom." Matthew watched his mom walk out of the Café and he whispered under his breath "Thank you God."

***
Story continued from "Inner Strength" challenge.

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Member Comments

Member

Date

Steve Uppendahl

05/04/06

Nicely done. I like how the title leads you one way (boyfriend/girlfriend) but the story leads you another.

I would've liked to have seen a longer piece. Maybe some more dialogue, intermixed with descriptions of the characters, setting, etc.

But, still a good job. I liked it

05/04/06

For a challenge entry, I must be honest, this is too short, and continuing stories don't work unless they can stand on their own, and I don't feel as though this one did. You have a very good writing style, and I would most certainly like to see more of this kind of work in the future.

05/04/06

More expansion would have been nice. I agree that continuations don't work well in the challenge, but I see potential :)

05/05/06

I loved this! Short and sweet and to the point. Sometimes, I belive short little stories are refreshing, because you don't lose the reader or make them fall asleep. Thank you and may your weekend be blessed.

05/06/06

There's a huge improvement in your writing between this piece and the previous one! You're well on your way!

Amy Michelle Wiley

05/08/06

Intriguing story! I agree that I would love to have heard more of the conversation between the son and mother...maybe let them share a little about their life and struggle to find eachother. Great story!

05/09/06

Interesting...a continuance. Very creative. You set the scene very well.

05/09/06

I agree with the above comments. This is a good start. I'd like to see you combine your entries and show the interaction between mother and son. A very good beginning. Keep writing!

05/09/06

Hehehe, should have guessed yours would involve coffee! This was a pretty good start, but like others have said, it could have been longer. You could add dialog, or describe his feelings more in depth or what it's been like growing up with out a mom or even how he has found her now.

Also, you mentioned his name a lot. That's not really necessary with only two characters. But, great for the topic of love and like the first comment said, I like how your title misleads a bit. Good job!

05/09/06

Nice start, a word though - you know how you hate it when someone uses your name over and over again...look at this brief essay - poor Matt is drowning in his name.

Tiffanie Chezum

05/09/06

I like it, but as others have said it could have been expanded. Good job.

Catherine Pollock

05/09/06

I generally like short, sweet, and to the point, but this felt a little bit too short and sweet. A little expansion would have been wonderful - like everyone else said. But it does have a lot of potential.

05/09/06

I would never have guessed that they were mother and son. Great ending for that wonderful story.

Kathleen Morris

05/09/06

If you were just dipping your toe in the water, testing your strengths as a writer, you did a wonderful job. Keep writing and expanding on your gift!

05/10/06

Great writing! Love your story, short but sweet.

05/10/06

I'll add my voice to the others. Good writing, but there was a gap in the middle - how did the conversation go? Was there intial hostility? Did they feel awkward?