The Chrysalis | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The Chrysalis | Previous Challenge Entry
By Cindy Maness
12/02/14
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The Chrysalis

It’s dark in here, safe and warm, and quite comfortable. My darkness comforts me. No one can experience me. I like it here in this sleepy place I have made for myself. Nothing scary lives with me, nothing or no one to hurt me. I am blanketed in safety. Enveloped and inebriated in delicious quiet. I am numb. My ugliness is hidden away. Although sometimes I find myself wondering….

Time passes.

I wonder why I chose this place, why I enjoy it so much. I wonder why I don’t want to get out. To be honest it’s becoming boring in here sometimes, and lonely. No one knows I’m here. I’m beginning to wonder what I look like, who I am. What I am. It’s starting to feel a little claustrophobic, but I love it here remember? As the days go by I’m finding this space to be tighter and tighter. A little hard to breathe at times, but I’ll manage. It’s also becoming dry, and I find myself wanting a sip of water.

Time passes.

Something unexplainable is happening. Sometimes I’m finding that I don’t like it here so much. I feel strained, different somehow. This place is shrinking. I find myself gasping for air during this long lethargy. Why is it becoming harder to breathe? This place is becoming my coffin of despair. Extrication is a flirt. But that would require a courage I cannot conjure. Did I invent the illusion that this tomb was actually my refuge? Have I just gift wrapped these cells of scorn? I am broken, bound, and fastened here. What changes have occurred to allow my happiness to be thwarted? I feel duped; the thought intensifies like an itch I cannot scratch.

Time passes.

My body is in it’s throes of groans and aches. And what’s this, this foreign tingle? Could it be hope? Oh woe to me. Even if I were to make a grand escape…I cannot fathom the thought. What monsters and dangers await me out there? I very possibly would be hurt, or killed. I am but a wretched thing. At the very least I would be rejected, cast away. I don’t know if I can come back to the safety of this cage if ever I could abscond. It has me in its clutches. I am experiencing an aching thirst and pains of hunger!

Time passes.

I am now beginning to realize there is nothing more urgent than escaping this incarcerated hell. I must get out! My body begins its frenzied spasms. I shake and move with desperation. I am clawing scraping, wiggling and I feel something give way. It appears to be an opening. Light spears my eyes. It’s too bright, it hurts. I wince and adjust. The shock slows my greedy efforts. I feel new air stealing my space. It makes me shiver. The first shimmers of excitement tease me. I work away more of the scabby hole, like a mouth opening wider and wider it begins to swallow me whole. I am half in and half out. I am stuck. I keep wriggling but this process takes much of my strength and I must take many rests. As I look around me I am undone by the most fascinating colors. Greens rich with life burst forth, vibrant whites, bold blues, zesty yellows, majestic purples, rich reds splashing their brilliance before my eyes. Then a symphony of sounds skips through the air and woos my ears. I’m almost pardoned, a bit more kicking, flailing and gulping in air. I make the final plunge forward with renewed vigor until eventually I am birthed into a new world. At last, I break free, fall forward and just as the ground begins to hurl itself at me, my arms reach above me and I begin to frantically pump them up and down. I miss the ground by mere inches and find myself floating skyward. Beauty engulfs me. I am soaring, exploring, exhilarated and enchanted all at once. I can’t believe I’m flying! I daintily alight on velvety petals, delighted in their soft fragrance. I look over and see this shining thing. It’s a pond, the sun’s rays pirouette on its surface and for the first time I see my reflection in its glass. Truly, is this me? Fascinated I study my beautiful form, amazed and filled with delighted wonder. I once again take flight, soaring and singing “I’m free! Free at last! This is what I was created for!”

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