The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/07/13
This was a well written story, and a clever approach to the topic at hand.

I love stories about our Lord and Savior.

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? (1 Corinthians 15:55 KJV)

WEll done!
God bless~
Yes, Jesus won that day as an example for us. We must be faithful until our death.

This is an illustration of what Gen. 3:15 says.

Good creative writing. Good conversations going on.
I enjoyed this piece especially Satan's rants of frustration.
Well crafted summation of a familiar story. I like the way you presented it.
11/10/13
A thought provoking use of this weeks topic. Graphic and hard hitting. Good job!
Wow you did an awesome job on this. The opening line grabbed me immediately and I found myself trembling with each word.

I noticed some minor punctuation errors that a good proofreader would catch. Also instead of using taglines like he said or he yelled, switch it up with narrative lines like this: "Everything is going just as planned, dear Master." One of his minions rubbed his hands together and cackled as he maneuvered to get closer to Satan.
I tried to paint a picture while letting the reader know who was speaking. I also capitalized the M in Master because it was being used as a name.

You did an excellent job of writing on topic. It was fresh, intriguing, and creative. Your message comes through loud and clear. You brought this story to life and made me stop and really think. That's a sign of good writing.

If you haven't checked out Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards, I'd encourage you to do so. Jan gives great tips for the beginner writer as well as the master. She is diligent about responding to everyone who posts on her thread. God bless.
11/10/13
The ending was my favorite part.
11/10/13
Oh, I like this. Nice job at taking a unique perspective.

My ONLY suggestion would have been to go back to Satan and the demons at the moment of the resurrection.

Great job on this. I enjoyed it!
11/11/13
Very creative! I enjoyed your story. It was well written.
Hard to believe that you are a beginner! Lively action, myriad emotions, beautiful true conclusion. Thank you, I enjoyed this muchly.
11/12/13
Great job! Awesome depiction of the frustration satan deals with every time Christs name is proclaimed.
Congratulations on ranking 8th in your level! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)