The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/07/13
Good story with a good message. Amen.

God bless~
11/07/13
Excellent illustration of how easily we can fall prey to deception unless we rely on God for the truth.
A real life tale that fits the topic.

Nice writing and a good warning to each of us.

Temptations come in neat looking packages that catch us unawares.

Continue to exhort us all the more as the day approaches.

If we are not faithful till death, God's grace won't work.
This is a lovely devotion. You mastered all the aspects I believe make a good devotion. You started out with a good Bible verse to set the scene. When writers share a real life experience it draws the reader in and makes it easier to relate to the message.

You did have some tiny errors like not starting a complete sentence in the quote with a capital letter and the punctuation should go inside the quotation marks.

Those are little things though. You did a fine job of transitioning from the story to your Bible message. You nailed the topic in a unique and fun way. The best was the prayer. Not everyone knows how to pray, so I always like it when a prayer is included.

If you haven't seen Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards, you should check it out. She gives wonderful advice for all levels of writers. Jan also answers everyone who posts in her threads. She has a wealth of knowledge and is willing to share. God bless.
11/14/13
I like how you weaved your own experience into a life learning experience for us all. Very nicely done. Easy to read material is always the best reads. You drew us all in with the scripture and first sentence in your paragraph. YOu did a great job look forward to reading more. Keep writing.
11/14/13
Congratulations!

God bless~