Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Achoo (04/11/13)
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TITLE: Gesundheit | Previous Challenge Entry
By Loni Bowden-Horn
04/17/13 -
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What had she gotten out of tirelessly wandering in those blasted woods for so long in her new stiletto shoes—a broken heel that made her walk with a limp. Her newly manicured nails had been chipped beyond repair fighting with those horrible tree branches. Her hair was all matted down with dirt and debris—possibly the worst hair day for any Princess imaginable.
Princess Danielle finally found the spot that Randi had programmed into Danielle’s new GPS system. Danielle leaned against a tree to rest a bit.
A frog leaped out of the water and asked, “Why do you appear so distressed?”
Princess Danielle’s heart began to flutter as she noticed the toad. The frog was not only physically fit but the finest specimen she had ever witnessed in her young life. I have been instructed to bring back a frog and a toad to my frog mother in waiting.
“Can I bring you back to the castle?” inquired Princess Danielle. I am certain that you are the one I have been searching for.
“My name is Charles by the way and I am certainly the best looking toad in the pond.”
Princess Danielle jerked around, for she was completely caught off guard by a plain and scrawny toad perched on a lily pad.
“A-c-h-o-o, A-c-h-o-o,” My noz is all stuffy and I got a b-a-d headache.
“I guess you’ll do” stated Princess Danielle.
“My name is Dil-bert” “A-c-h-o-o”.
When the two toads and Princess Danielle arrived at the castle, Danielle immediately summoned Randi.
“Randi, what do I have to do in order for my prince to appear?”
“Princess, you need to rub the gorgeous toad for good luck and then kiss him on top of his head.”
Princess Danielle knew that any toad would surely turn into a handsome prince after witnessing her extraordinary beauty. She carefully picked up the toad and rubbed it for good luck. She gently kissed the toad.
She looked around with bated breath. There wasn’t a prince at all. Instead, when she looked at her hands she saw multiple ugly looking small bumps called warts. Fortunately, for Randi, the princess did not have a mirror because the warts had spread to her face as well.
“What have you done Randi, you miserable little girl?” demanded Danielle. “You have ruined my chances for marriage.”
“What self-respecting man would want me now?”
Randi thought, “I should have studied. Instead of creating a viral Prince, I created a virus.” Randi ran to get the Queen Frog mother before being thrown into the dungeon.
The toad that Danielle had thought to be handsome had already hopped away as fast as he could to his pad in the pond after seeing how she now looked.
Dilbert hopped down on one leg. “I will marry you,”
The Queen Frog mother told the princess that she could indeed turn the toad into a handsome prince but she could not cure the small bumps The princess informed the Queen Frog mother that she would need to wave her magic wand because she would not risk kissing or touching another toad especially as scrawny and plain as that one looked. The princess figured even a plain and ordinary prince would be better than nothing at all.
The Queen Frog mother waved her magic wand and introduced the regally and stalwartly man as Prince Dilbert with a heart to match. The Queen Frog mother told the princess that she had transformed the toad’s outward appearance by judging on what she had seen on his inside character.
The Prince could not comprehend why the princess would think that the warts would be hideous when he considered them extraordinarily beautiful.
After all, to a toad warts were considered desirable and necessary to survive. The Princess decided not to remove her warts after all. The Prince and Princess were soon married and lived happily ever after.
The moral of the story is when you love someone; you are willing to marry them warts and all.
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I noticed some sentences were missing punctuation and some were a tad confusing. For example you say the princess didn't want to risk kissing another toad but then in the next line that she was desperate enough to go for the scraggly toad. This is a tiny detail too, but toads and frogs are two different things.
Overall, I think you did s nice job. You really managed to get the privileged personality of the princess down. I like your moral of the story too. You have a few nice underlying messages in this adorable tale as well. I think you did a nice, fresh, and fun take of writing on topic.