Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Experiment (02/16/12)
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TITLE: Covert Dessert | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jody Day
02/21/12 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
I do not like this diet plan.
I do not like it, my wife Jan.
"Would you like no-sugar flan?
Would you like it, Sam my man?"
I do not like no-sugar flan.
I do not like this diet plan,
I do not like it, my wife Jan.
I like my cookies, cakes and pie,
I like my chocolate, that’s no lie.
I do not like this diet plan.
I do not like it, my wife Jan.
"No cookies will go in the hall,
No pies or cakes, nope, none at all.
I will not put them in the fridge.
No sweet desserts, not one small smidge."
Off to the grocery store she went,
This plan of hers I’ll circumvent.
I will not sit alone, inert,
But sneak some good covert dessert.
Usually I fuss and whine
When my snacks I cannot find.
If on this diet she is bent
I’ll try a new experiment
To satisfy my long sweet tooth.
I’ll call upon my cousin Ruth.
She’ll bring my comfort sugar food
When my cravings strike a mood.
I do not like your diet plan,
I do not like it, my wife Jan.
Dratted thing, Ruth’s not on board
And will not help me stash a hoard.
For she is on this diet too,
She and Jan, what will I do?
A sorely failed hypothesis,
But all is surely not amiss
For I have really not forgotten
That Ruth’s husband will not cotton
To this forced and cruel starvation
That every new year sweeps the nation.
So I make a real quick call,
But Dan is not a help at all.
Now he too thinks he should reduce
And so I sadly must deduce…
Wait, Dan’s brother is a portly brute,
His help I will now recruit.
But Stan too quickly pointed out
That his middle is too stout.
He will not help me sneak a snack,
Not behind my shrewd Ruth’s back.
I do not like this diet plan.
I do not like it, my wife Jan.
Hunger chased me like a fox,
So I went to my ice box.
There I found a real sweet note
Underneath a magnet boat,
Where Ruth declared her love and that
Her husband had grown old and fat,
And that she wanted me to stay
By her side for many days.
Please, would I try a brand new bent,
With healthy food experiment?
How could I spurn such love expressed
And not a new way put to test?
Still, I do not like this diet plan,
I do not like it, my wife Jan.
Now for your love I’ll shed a tear
For sugar sweets, but have no fear
I will join this diet plan
With Jan and Ruth, and Dan and Stan.
(But I don’t like it.)
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